My Ego Has Turned Me Into A Superhero

Well, sort of. Let's see where to start. This year I've changed out my first ever electrical outlet in a friend's apartment as well as assisted in car repair duties. I've moved heavy stuff up to 3rd floor apartments for 3 different sets of friends this year already (it seems none of my friends can do the whole 1st floor thing, they want me to work waaay too hard I guess). I even mowed a friends lawn for them while they were at work. You know, MANLY stuff.

I recently returned to my blog, having been given access to the internet within my compound from a friend's WIFI access. While I regard this as a laudable achievement to be greeted with much fanfare, it's not just me boosting my ego. Below is a comment from another blogger who's site I have always been a regular visitor prior to "unplugging" from this interweb thingy for a few months:

◦MOOKIE!!!

Welcome back!!! I can’t tell you how good it is to hear from you. I’m just getting back to writing on something resembling a regular basis myself. June and July were pretty dismal but I just didn’t have the need to say anything. By the time I started writing again I lost so many regulars. I thought I lost you as well. It’s really good to see you back. My world is saved already!

Peace

Comment by brotherpeacemaker |

See, even in suburban Des Moines, Iowa, I am saving some people's world by merely being back on the internet. Mookism has extended its power to reach all the way to St Louis, Missouri. On top of that, it has stretched the other way all the way across the Pacific Ocean to Taiwan, where a cousin of mine lives. She has stated her quality of life improved now that she doesn't have to rely strictly on email (we used to Skype with each other regularly prior to my internet-less world) and me getting my lazy butt up the road to the library every once in a great while (also read as RARELY).

So you see, it is not me just praising myself. But there really are other people in the world who think highly of me. My oldest kid is 12, So in about a year or so, I'm sure his opinion of me will go down dramatically as he goes through his teenage years. The youngest, still finds me amusing in a good way. But he's 7, so I can only enjoy that about another 5 years or so before he turns to the dark side as well.

Now in the meantime I need to figure out how to capitalize on this popularity. Politics is not the route I intend to go. I'm eligible for the Presidency for the 2016 elections, when I expect to garner enough support to get myself elected to El Dictator for 4 years, when I shall relinquish my dictatorship having solved the world's problems by telling everybody how it is, in between a few ego-crushing butt kickings from my father... They'll be scheduled for Thursdays at 3pm, and available on pay per view for $29.99 where all proceeds go toward our national debt. I'm sure he'll throw in a few extra whoopings just because he's my dad, and a few more because he thinks I'm being a bit too much of a jerk about things. I'd threaten to cut out his retirement package entirely and donate it to someone else, but he'd probably find a way to ground me anyways, and take away my allowance. And he'd make me believe it really was for my own good, rather than his own sadistic amusement at having more power than the duly elected Dictator Mookie.

In the meantime, I have ideas and plans for an economic experiment on a micro scale to ensure real job creation and economic stimulus, including debt reduction across the nation. So SCOTT ERB...if you're reading this, you need to email me so I can fill you in and ask for some help on this secret issue. (you'll be compensated handsomely) If it works, I see no reason why I wont be made Dictator of the United States (DOTUS) for 4 years.

If it doesn't work, then I need to come up with a plan to make the Powerball Lotto people cooperate with me so I win a big jackpot! Those damn retailers keep selling me faulty tickets!

Mythological Jobs Created and Saved in Mythological Places

Some of the mythological places these jobs have been saved and/or created are hidden in some alternate universe that overlays our very own United States. The other mythological places are brought into existence in the real world through a budget line, yet by admission of some in charge of these jobs, the saved jobs were never in danger even without the stimulus. The jobs created were also found to be duplicate jobs in the form of pay raises to current employees. Others yet, are just plain ludicrous no matter what angle you wish to find them. The following two sub-posts here are courtesy of Dan McLaughlin at RedState.com.


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Your Tax Dollars At Liesure
Posted by Dan McLaughlin (Profile)

Monday, November 16th at 12:55PM EST

19 Comments
The Washington Examiner spots the pattern from multiple news reports:

More than ten percent of the jobs the Obama administration has claimed were “created or saved” by the $787 billion stimulus package are doubtful or imaginary, according to reports compiled from eleven major newspapers and the Associated Press.

Based only on our analysis of stimulus media coverage in the last two weeks, The Examiner has created this interactive map to document exaggerated stimulus claims. The map, which will be updated as new revelations appear, currently reflects an exaggeration by the Obama administration of about 75,000 jobs, out of the 640,000 jobs supposedly “created or saved.”

Read the whole thing, and don’t miss clicking on the link for the map. Ah, well, it’s only $787 billion, I’m sure there’s more where that came from.
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PART TWO

Unicorns, Leprechauns and Jobs Created By the Stimulus
Posted by Dan McLaughlin (Profile)

Monday, November 16th at 4:17PM EST

Somewhere in these 57 states, there exist Congressional Districts between sight and sound, in which Barack Obama is “creating jobs” that do not exist for constituents of Congresspersons who do not exist either,reports Jonathan Karl of ABC News:

Here’s a stimulus success story: In Arizona’s 9th Congressional District, 30 jobs have been saved or created with just $761,420 in federal stimulus spending. At least that’s what the website set up by the Obama Administration to track the $787 billion stimulus says.

There’s one problem, though: There is no 9th Congressional District in Arizona; the state has only eight Congressional Districts.

There’s no 86th Congressional District in Arizona either, but the government’s recovery.gov Web site says $34 million in stimulus money has been spent there.

In fact, Recovery.gov lists hundreds of millions spent and hundreds of jobs created in Congressional districts that don’t exist.

Read the whole thing (did you know the Northern Mariana Islands had 99 Congressional Districts? Neither did I.)

I can’t wait for these guys to run the Census, can you?