Pranks and Other Observations

Today's post doesn't have any central theme, other than my weird little observations in life.

Observation #1 (Saturday night): ANY type of cussing causes my youngest child to laugh hysterically. Even if the word 'crap' is mentioned on a DVD, or TV, or whatever and Corwyn is in the room, he immediately laughs. If it's anything much harsher that he need not hear, the reaction is still the same. While he knows he is not supposed to say such words, to merely hear them sends him over the edge.

The other night I was wasting time playing RISK online (I love the game, but the dice rolling concept really sucks...how does one lose 20 armies to four armies on a regular basis? It's ridiculous). My wife was in the kitchen reading and preparing supper. The boys were on the couch, and I hear the words "wiener-boy" and "butt (or nut) bag" being repeatedly constantly as they discuss whatever inane mindless things little kids discuss. But after every time one of these words is repeated they both start cackling. They both have their own unique laughter, which I have determined that I could pick out in a room full of a thousand little kids from just about any distance. The cackling in and of itself is humorous to me. I decided to give it a few minutes to see if the subject would die down on its own. Anyways, I made the executive decision (poorly or not) that such words didn't quite cross the line entirely. That and of course I was slightly amused myself, as I am so often easily amused. Of course, left to their own devices, the subject, no matter how retarded it may be will continue to grow a life of its own when left unchecked. Eventually I, or maybe it was my wife, decided that the conversation was just too much and they needed to discuss something other than the antics of this so-called "wiener boy" and his superpowers derived from his "Butt (or nut) bag". It was time that they expanded their vocabulary's usage for while. Now that I think about it, it was my wife who stopped it, because I was busy facing away from them and holding in my laughter at the whole situation, which included them getting a talking-to from their mother. I'm not sure what it is, but I still find it amusing to watch others get into trouble...even if it is my own kids.

Observation #2 (this morning): BBQ Sauce. I love the smell of BBQ sauce, especially right before we slap it on some chicken to be fried or roasted. However last night, there was still some BBQ sauce leftover and sitting in the bowl my wife made it in. It hadn't been dispensed of or put into the fridge for later use. And while I was making coffee after coming home this morning, all I could smell was this hours old BBQ sauce sitting right there next to me. And I realized, I do not like the smell of the stuff the day after. Made me kind of queasy.

Prank (Friday night): My sister, Becky is great for playing tricks on. You have already read about the trick I played on her with her Christmas gift. well, now I have an even better one that she succumbed to this last weekend.
Apparently, before they went home to Florida, my dad started talking to my niece, Sophie. He kept mentioning how she needed a puppy when she got home. According to my dad, he was sure that my sister was getting a little bit perturbed by this, but all the puppy talk always had Sophie smiling. So my dad calls me up, and tells me I need to mess with my sister a bit on this issue. Of course he called me. As the resident a**hole in her life, since a very early age, I'm the natural pick to keep messing with her.

So I grabbed a picture off of petfinder.com of a small dog that looks like a miniature version (and I mean EXACTLY like) of a mutt dog we grew up with. then I looked up Orlando International Airport and found phone numbers and used the map of the grounds to give her directions to some building and convinced her it was where the live cargo comes into the airport. Becky is getting madder by the moment. She of course thinks to question my motives as serious or not, as she isn't completely dumb. Of course I played it off that mom and dad had arranged for this dog to be adopted, bought a flight for it out of Des Moines, here where I live, etc etc, and I wouldn't go to all this trouble just to mess with her head. Being gullible as she is, she finally bought into it. And boy was she pissed off!!!! She gave me reasons as to why they didn't need a dog, couldn't have a dog, and all that mess. I told her then to call mom and dad to straighten it out with them, and to call me back so I knew what my plans were for Monday (yesterday), since they had done everything and were having me pick the dog up and get it off on a plane to her. so she hangups with me and calls them. I got a call about 15 minutes later. I say "hello", knowing full well who it is, thanks to caller ID. There is a short pause, as I feel her drawing in every bit of rage she can, and then proceeds to introduce herself with the kinds of words Corwyn would begin laughing hysterically at. All I heard was "F**K You!" And then I started laughing hysterically. The way I figure it is that since she isn't pregnant, getting her blood pressure up a bit isn't all that unhealthy. I think she's still a bit mad at me and dad. Later that night I see her Facebook posting that says "My family sucks, they know why". I left a nice comment that says she brought it on herself. She responded to the effect that it isn't her fault I'm a dick.

Well the truth of the matter is a little bit different. Not that I'm arguing her point about me being a dick, because I am sometimes, ...okay a lot of the time. But, I do blame this on her entirely. Now stay with me here. She knows I am into pranks. She also fouled up my Christmas gift guessing game a couple years, a long time ago, and she did it intentionally.

And as smart as she is, and she is getting better at her people smarts than she used to be, she is still gullible and easy to pull pranks on. She also knows that I love to pull pranks on people, and that I have virtually no life, therefore she should KNOW that she is a prime target here. And, to top it off, after actually thinking to question me, she buys my sheepish answer (and I suck at lying, over the phone or in person), and proceeds to get irritated at the gall my dad had to supposedly send a puppy to them. Like I said, she brought it on herself. I stand by my faked brilliance, and consider this prank a successful victory. My dad also does, as he called me back while I was still on the phone with Becky who was steamed at me. He laughed hysterically when I told him how she started the return phone call with me.

I'm beginning to think it is a Lovell male trait to laugh hysterically when we hear someone start cussing.

Getting into trouble (Sunday Afternoon): For Christmas this year, my grandmother and her husband (do I call him Grandpa or by his name? They just got married a few years ago, I don't understand the protocol here), sent us a Christmas card along with $25 in Target gift coins for each boy. Well, Sunday the boys and I ran over to Target so they could get the gifts they wanted, and then we could get a picture of them with their new loot to send off to my Grandmother.

So we get there, and they each get some random toy, but also each gets a sword of some sort. josh picked up a flip-action Star Wars light saber, and Corwyn got himself the sword that goes with his GI JOE Storm Shadow outfit he had worn for Halloween this last year. After we got home, some point later there was a sword fight. Then one of them got the grand idea of challenging me, or having the other brother challenge me. SO we dueled a few times, me vs one, then the other, then each other, all times with the two different swords. Well, we did this in the living room, right in front of the couch where my wife is reading her book. It didn't take long, but we got told to put the swords away after I made a mistake and accidentally shifted the wrong way and caught my wife in the face with the sword. So I apologized to the boys for getting us into trouble, and then as they took the swords to be put away, I sat down next to my wife and began to apologize to her. She told me not to sweet talk her. I said I wasn't, but merely apologizing. What I said next did me in for the day. I meant to say I was going to make it up to her (in a amorous tone of voice), but my speaking dyslexia kicked in and said I was going to let her make it up to me. I didn't realize until she repeated it back to me with an incredulous look on her face. I really need to learn to shut up, cut my losses and disappear after screwing up. I think it is almost in my favor to skip any apologies. I have a tendency to only make it worse, even if by accident. Of course opting out any attempts might get me in just as much hot water as screwing one up. Man, I am screwed!

Christmas...12 Feet Under The Snow!

So, I was itching to get back to write about all the new stuff that has happened this Christmas holiday. Now that I'm here and in front of the computer, I'm a lot more overwhelmed than thrilled about documenting s short snippet into the life that lends itself to the Mind of Mookie.

But first off, a little housekeeping is in order. To all you idealist people who kept wishing and praying for a white Christmas....let me be the first to say thank you very much. In two weeks, I've seen around 30 or so inches of snow. In two weeks, we have met our yearly snowfall average. Winter technically started a week ago. As a man who is NOT a fan of precipitation in any form, you can take your wishes of a snow filled christmas and stick it in some places best not actually said in this public forum. Christmas morning found my car lost...and only by the graciousness of my dad to plow the snow out of the driveway was my car even visible to be dug out. So thank you.



So anyways... On Christmas Eve I get off work at 8am, and we travel the two and a hlaf hours to my parents for Christmas and the ensuing weekend, which lasted longer than anticipated, but we'll get back to that later. Roads weren't too bad, mostly wet, but got a bit icy as we got closer to our destination. Had we left much later, our trip may have been more aptly described by the hit song "An Icey Dicey Christmas" as sung by Burl Ives.

As some of you have already read, I recently acquired a niece after a kindly stork dropped by my sister and her husband's place in Florida. So this was going to be our first time seeing her in person. About 35 minutes into the trip my wife realizes she left the camera at home. Well, given the storm predictions, we'll just have to hope my sister remembered hers and can send us photos. My sister came through not only with a camera, but a laptop to upload the photos to an online storage site, Snapfish (Let me be clear...this is not a paid endorsement. None of these damn companies I ever mention think to offer me money to brag about them on this most popular of blog pages), so they would be ready to be organized once we made it home, and for me to be able to post them here today for you to enjoy.

Well, anyways, we got to see our niece, Sophia. I made her smile, mostly because I'm on the same level as new babies when it comes to maturity. Also, I like to burp and poop alot, so we have lifestyles in common.


So here are a few pictures of my new niece. With her mother in her new Christmas dress. Then again with my wife.
And here is Sophie, slightly intrigued, but still not sure about this Christmas present business.
And of course, helping Daddy play some cards. And trust me when I tell you, he needed all the help he could get. He may be part Rocket Scientist, but when it comes to games of chance, the playing field is leveled out a bit for the reast of us lowly peasants. And there she is laying on a blanket with me looking down on her. Don't mistake my smile for pure joy. I'm still curious about this little one. Hard to tell if I really like her or not. She cries a lot, which disinterests me. Now, I know what you're thinking: Shame on you Mike, she's just a baby. and then there will be my wife telling me to drop the macho uncaring act, and that she'll have me wrapped around her little finger. Whatever, I say. We were busy amusing each other with making raspberry noises at each other. What can I say? I'm easily entertained. We'll see how she is when she gets older. If she ends up anything like her mother was, it wont be good. Any car rides while visiting will be accompanied by a lot fo bickering in the backseat and my brother-in-law incredulous at having to chastise both a child and an adult with the idea of turning the car right back around and going home. And of course, the jeers of "she touched me first!!!" whining out of my mouth. Should be interesting to say the least.



Anyways, it was the 24th of December, which of course means it is Buggy's 6th birthday. Another first and only milestone in his life. He'll never turn 6 again. His "Uncle Jim" usually puts himself in charge of making birthday cakes for the boys. He definitely outdid himself this year with a multi-layered cake, plus a couple cookies, a lot of icing, and a motion sensor dinosaur built into the birthday cake.

So we had a birthday celebration, prior to a bunch of people coming over for the traditional Christmas Eve get together my parents have. Weather, being all snowy and blowy, kept a few people away this evening, but still a good sized crowd for such a small little house.

The next morning, after we all finally woke up. Becky and Vic, obviously awoken by their baby, and quite possibly by my two boys who shared the bedroom with them. I, on the otherhand, not being the center of attention at the ripe old age of 30, no longer get up 3 hours before dawn to raid the stocking and start figuring out which presents are mine. I'll get up when either my bladder or everyone else decides I need to get up. But I have to admit, the tree looked pretty good and sparkly. It was a shorter tree than usual, but rather full and balanced, which always makes for a prettier Christmas tree. Add the presents and the shiny bows that add to the glow off the light-adorned tree, and there is still that little flicker of magic that Christmas always holds over the imagination.

Everybody scored some pretty good loot, but the best present I got was actually the present I gave to my sister. You see, in all my years, I have been able to pretty much pick up a package and guess the contents underneath the wrapper, with almost 100% accuracy. It's a gift that can't be taught. Well, two years my sister has managed to mess up my formula and my guesses were wrong. That was years ago. But this year, after all had been forgotten by most, it was my turn to get her.
I enlisted my mom's help in wrapping up multiple boxes inside each other...add some tissue paper here, packing peanuts there...it was quite the job. In one of the random boxes, I had taped her gift card to the inside front, in a position where she wouldn't notice it. She went on to the next box, pulled another out of the bag, opened it up and found a smaller box. And neatly folded inside this little Jewelry box, underneath the protective batting layers was a note telling her that she had still had some looking to do, and that somewhere in the mess she had made was her actual gift. It took awhile, adn I finally had to point out the box to her. The look on her face (my mom prophecied the night before while we worked on this project that Becky would cuss me out for this, which she did) was more than satisfying. Her frustration and the "I'm gonna kill you!" look made my Christmas.