49er Mini-Sports Update

The new weekly (kind of) sports forum on the San Francisco 49ers, as determined by Mook continues yet again.

Well, hurrah, hurrah, THIS week, the 49ers did NOT lose. One big reason for this absence of a loss...they had a bye week, and you can't lose if you don't play. I got an update from the Official 49ers fan page over on the old Facebook side of things, which gives me the opportunity to ask a player anything. This week they are offering up a sacrificial lamb in the form of a defensive back. LAST week, against the Atlanta Falcons, the San Francisco defense gave up over 40 points. It was a truly pathetic effort. I have decided to refrain from asking this hapless defender just what the hell happened for one main reason: I already know how the question will get answered.

It will come in one of three different formats:
1. "We were simply outplayed by an outstanding offensive machine."
2. "We mentally lost focus after a few quick scores by the Falcons, and our offense wasn't able to bail us out this week."
...or my personal opinion, and favorite option...
3. "We didn't bother to show up for the game."

I can only imagine. The week before the 49ers demoralize a horrible St Louis Rams team with a 35-0 shutout. This isn't new for the Rams, but holding a team scoreless is something the 49ers haven't done in quite a long time. It's my assumption that despite this last week's game being played IN San Francisco, the players were unable to show up. They were still either partying or hungover from a weeklong celebration after defeating their division opponent, the Rams, in a shutout, giving them a clean sweep over division foes.

All week long, Coach Mike Singletary has been forced to use stunt doubles in practice, and eventually the game in an effort to not completely forfeit the game altogether. A call went out to specific athletes in area junior coleges, and to outstanding high school athletes, who at least could pull off resembling the 49ers actual players. Hey, fora small sum of cash under the table, and a free authentic NFL jersey, who wouldn't take up such an offer. I know I would, under total disillusionment that it would somehow lead to me being given a shot at making the actual roster. I do have mean skills when it comes to backyard football. Why wouldn't it translate over? I'll go across the middle and get killed by a real NFL linebacker, for nothing more than the official stats and to say I did it.

I surmise that the few 49ers scores against Atlanta came on pure fluke. The fake players made a few nice moves, showcasing the possibility of future talent to be used, along with the fact that the few key Falcon players who were to stop them fell over with laughter as they realized who was actually playing them.

So, after this weeks play, the Rams continue their abysmal season by losing again and going to 0-6. The Arizona Cardinals defeated the Seattle Seahawks easily, moving them even with the 49ers. Luckily so far, having beaten the Cardinals, the tie goes to the 49ers. However in December the 49ers will go against the Cards and Seahawks again, so we'll see how that goes as the season develops for each team.

And a personal note to Coach Singletary...I am still open to playing for even less than the league minimum, even if it means I'll be laid up in full body casts for months on end. I'm just saying...

in an unrelated note..a google ad on my page advertises to give Brett the finger. They're talking about Brett Favre, who I'd LOVE to give the finger. However it turns out its advertising fan regalia, like the foam fingers and things of that nature. And here I thought I would be allowed a chance to win a trip to go flip Brett the bird.

The Mook meets The Duke

This is a flesh out of tidbit #3 from my earlier post here. It was voted on by some anonymous person wanting to hear more about my amazing life. I sure hope they read it and tell me just who the heck they are.

John Wayne showed his last movie The Shootist in 1976, and later died from cancer in 1979, the year the Mook was born. Over the years, I have seen releases of music from singers after their deaths, adding to their estates' bottom line, including what appears to be multiple outputs over the years from Michael Jackson. Well, apparently the Duke has decided he needed to get in on this kind of action, and shot one more movie. The set was in a secret location...My subconcious mind, where no sane person has ever managed to discover and escape unscathed.

You see, the Duke made a posthumous decision that the Western movie genre was in far too severe a decline, without him manning the leading role. So, after quick negotiations, my mind became the set. This "after-death" production was so secretive that I, being in on it, don't know the title of the movie, what its about, or my role in it. But I was there and making a movie with my favorite movie star of all time.

Well, at one point we finished shooting a scene, and me being me with my mookified personality decided to be my naturally funny self (also read: annoying but self amused). The Duke was off to the side of the set laying down. I thought it would be a great idea to sneak up on him and scare him real quick like. Now from what I understand, in real life John Wayne could be a real mean drunk after noon. And apparently it carried over into the afterlife. Well, just before I got to him, he swings around with his big old boots and nearly takes my head off. I go flying backward and land on the floor myself. Next thing I know the Duke and I are going toe to toe exchanging punches, pushes, and a few kicks. I guess I forgot to read the rider in his contract. Not only on film, but off film as well, the Duke wins the fight in the end. And that's exactly what happened. Apparently the Mook isn't as impervious as he likes to think he is.

As I lay there checking on my bloodied lip, I see a couple of goons dragging in some punk kid who only resembles me because he is white, and in no other way. They quickly tell me as they are going past me, that this kid is the source of the Duke's frustration. I proclaim that if that was the case, why was he picking a fight with me, I don't even look like this kid. John Wayne turns around, stares me down, and proclaims, "It doesn't matter, you got in the way and got what the kid deserved." And then I woke up.

So, in my dreamworld, it turns out my movie idol is a total jerk. I've heard before that you never want to meet your heroes in life, as they will disappoint you. And even if they are dead, it happens anyways. What a drag!

If you could help out and/or pass along...

My friends, Jay and Naomi Burns, are currently in the process of adopting two adorable girls from Ethiopia. As with any adoption, in order to ensure children make it into a good, quality home environment with responsible parents; many forms, policies and processes are involved, and can make the cost of adoption rather expensive. Despite this fact, they are determined to keep on course to start their family. And my family is currently helping out where we can, including facilitating more channels where ever possible to help them out along this wonderful journey.

So if you can, read the following excerpt which I have copied from their adoption blog http://burnsadoption.blogspot.com/ . If you can find it in your heart to help out with their latest fundraiser, I know they'd really appreciate it, and so would I. You can also reprint this and pass it along to others, as a way that they can help, or even show ideas of how anyone you know who might be looking into adoption can work towards their goals.

Please Read Below, and Thank You:

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It will be official tomorrow. We are accepting our placement. As mentioned below, Ethiopia does not allow us to publicly post photos, but we will have a picture with us and close to our hearts. We can send a personal e-mail of a photo. If you would like this, please let us know and give us your e-mail account.

Here's how you can help. Our next fundraiser starts tonight! We have purchased a 500 piece puzzle (below). We will put the puzzle together and hang it in the girls' room. You can adopt a puzzle piece(s) for $5 each. Simply click the pay pal link on the right and make a donation. When you adopt a piece, your name will be written on the back.

If you would like to go above and beyond purchasing a piece, forward our blog and info to your friends. Post it on your facebook, tweet it...etc. We appreciate all of the help that we can get. We need to raise $15k in the next 4 month. This is one of four fundraisers planned.


40 of 500 pieces have been sold so far! Thank you for your donations! If you have not purchased your piece, click on the PayPal link on the right to donate. You DO NOT need a PayPal account to donate, just a debit or credit card. If you would rather send a check in the mail, make it out to:

Ethiopian Hope Adoptions
822 Jonathon Road
Powell, WY 82435

This goes through Harvest Church in Billings, MT (www.harvestweb.net) and these checks are tax deductible. Donations made through PayPal are not tax deductible. If you are mailing us a check, please write on a separate sheet of paper the name(s) you would like to have written on the puzzle for your donation. Again, THANK YOU for all of your help!!
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All payment methods and links for PayPal can be found on Jay and Naomi's Adoption blog here and not on this blog. Again, Thank You very much.

Idiot Flips His Lid, I Lose A Day Off!

I have recently begun receiving Saturday and Sunday Nights off. While we have almost completely lost overtime in the Patrol Division of my security company, it is nice to at least get to be home on those days when my wife and kids are home for full days. Saturdays, like any first day off for a 3rd shifter, are long. I get home at 8am, and rarely bother with a nap, so that I might be able to do something here at home, and then go to bed that night like a regular person.

This last weekend was no different. I did catch a short nap, sort of, as I went in and out of consciousness with a football game playing on the TV. No big deal. Sunday I got up, went to church, came home, watched football and was hanging out while waiting for my wife to make supper for the family. At about 6pm, the phone rings, and my caller ID says its my boss. Part of me holds out hope that he's just calling me to tell me some really great story, or ask me some dumb question that even someone of my diminished mental capacity can answer.

"What're you doing tonight?" is the first question. This very question almost verbatim every time he calls me, is code for "I have work for you tonight."

So he offers me 3 options. Option #1 is to tell him to take a flying leap, I'm staying home tonight. Option #2 is to work 8pm to 6am patrolling Wells Fargo Properties. Option #3 is to do my normal patrol route on the 8pm-8am shift, and the guy who would have worked it, will do the WF patrols. Naturally, knowing the pecking order around here, I tell my wife what my boss is telling me. She immediately authorizes the 8p-8a shift. It was almost too quick. I suspect she holds weekend keggars after the kids go to bed whenever I have to work. Her new promotion has had her dealing with a few stressful situations (which cause amusing snafus with the voicemail setup at her work!!), so maybe she really is going to blow some of that steam off...right after I get my butt to work.

So, I agree to work, as a good husband who listens to his wife would do. Then I think to ask, what's up with the Overtime I'm being offered here. I would've said no, but with the Holidays coming up we need the money (read: my wife needs the money to go buy the gifts, and attach my name to them later).

From what I understand, (and mind you I only have half a story, as a lowly little peon in the company) is that some guy calls up on a blocked number to Wells Fargo, on the same line for local area customers, as opposed to a general national number, and starts wigging out. Apparently Wells Fargo appraised his property and he didn't like the figures. And I guess this warrants telling them essentially to "eat shit and die" (or something similar), and "they're gonna pay for this", along with, "this will be the kind of shit that you'll see on CNN" (again paraphrasing similarly aligned comments).

Some companies just dismiss anything and everything coming from the outside world (read: customers), and other companies hear a few keywords and freak out. I guess, and this is my opinion, that Wells Fargo deemed this as a threat along the lines of a big shootout or a bombing of buildings or something. So they call up our company, who does their security around these parts, and ask for extra protection at all their buildings in the metro area. We have guards in all these buildings, buildings that have cameras all over the place, and many have roving patrol presence anyways, but we have now stepped it up. More patrolmen, including patrols from our esteemed manager on duty, are there to save Wells Fargo from any doomsday prophecies being carried out by an irate customer over a phone line.

So naturally, my boss knows I like to have a little overtime, and he knows that whatever role I'm in, I'll do a good job. (Proof is that I was Rentacop of the Year, 2 years in a row....a made up award upon which I'm one of the few permanent voting committee members!) I enjoyed the opportunity to make some more money and see my paycheck almost approach the point where the boss actually pays me, instead of me giving him $15.47 contributions for the pleasure of laboring for him. But at the same time, I kind of hated to give my day off up, especially since I had gotten up before 9am, and wouldn't see any chance for sleep until after 8am the following morning.

So Black Sentinel since you requested it, that's my story. You may have some idiot readers at your blog, but I have to put up with the potential for idiots who honestly think they have time for shenanigans in the real world (which make me actually have to work and pay attention at the same time, which is blasphemous thinking in my book!), when they should be busy reading and leaving stupid comments on OUR blogs!!!

MIA: Mookie’s Tidbits to catch you up

Okay, so most of you know that We here in the Mookiefied Compound have undergone and survived one of the most hideous scenarios life can throw at us. Victims of a limited Nuclear Strike? NO. Attacked by a gaggle of venomous ducks in our sleep? Getting warmer, but no. H1N1 Flu takeover within the walls of the compound? I think it was trying, but No.
No, it was even more devastating than that:
That’s right…computer meltdown. After a few years of hearing advertisements about avoiding data loss in the event the computer shows us the “blue screen of death” by using their hard drive backup systems, we finally saw it….and without hard drive backup. Material for 2 different books, contact information for everyone we know, 6,700+ photos taken over many years…all gone. The ability to procrastinate real priorities by submersing ourselves into the internet news sites and blogs for information and entertainment, or playing dumb games like MafiaWars on the FaceBook… God please don’t take these options away from us!

Luckily, I, General Mook, being the great and resourceful leader that I am, had already procured the means to overcome this issue. Yes, I married a woman, who has an aunt and uncle who are computer geniuses. (What a strategic alliance I made!!!) The motherboard was in fact fried, more so than the Colonel’s Secret Recipe. And by Colonel, I mean Sanders…not my cat. However…all that information and all those memories taking shape in photos…RECOVERED!!!

So, today, I bring you fine readers a collection of headlines of events that have gone down over this time period of absence. If you find a topic you’d like to see more detail on, out of this list, merely make the request in the comment section.

1. Colonel Beauregard Sterling Lovell’s request for an XO denied.

While skimming thru the paper, I saw the Animal Rescue League page…there was a cat, already named Major pictured there. The General’s wife vetoed this option faster than the General could pass on the request.


2. Buggy’s Book of Digestive Biology Expands

Following his previously published comments of food melting into poop, Dr. Buggy now explains how chili and my digestive system work all the way to the end where the black beans committed suicide.

3. Mook And John Wayne Shoot a Movie Together, Scuffle Ensues

So, once in awhile I have some weird dreams. But hey, I got to be in
A movie with my favorite movie hero, and we end up in a fight even though it was some other idiot that pissed the Duke off.

4. Idiot Flips his lid, makes more work for me.

Some moron phoned Wells Fargo, made big threats and I get called in on my day off. I have mixed feelings about this.

5. 49ers Sports Update

I miss the 49ers get their first shutout of the season against an admittedly horrible St Louis Rams team; the following week, the 49ers apparently missed their own game (at home!), forcing Coach Singletary to hire stunt doubles at the last moment to take on the Atlanta Falcons.

6. Boy comes home sick, H1N1 tries to kill him; father instead chooses
to kill boy with board games.

So the oldest son comes home not feeling well, running a fever, and gives himself a 3 day holiday in advance of the impending 3 day weekend. 6 days off, in a row?? For a fever? Oh well. Was it H1N1? Probably not, but even if it was, all anyone needs is for my immune system to be in the same general area, and any sickness will meet its own grim destiny. So, the boy… he wants me to play games with him while we’re stuck at home. First its checkers…victory: DAD. Chess is semi-taught to the boy upon request: victory: DAD. Then the boy wants to learn the game of Stratego. I try to teach him, but he really should warm up for this game with lesser players until he gets the hang of things. I have never been defeated in this game…and I mean NEVER…needless to say, this streak is still going strong. I have my first serious challenge coming up over Christmas. I have a date with demoralizing a certain rocket scientist I call my brother-in-law.

7. Backyard Football Hero Still Golden, Even as Golden Years Threaten To Approach

I wasn’t the oldest guy out there. The guy downstairs who is almost old enough to be my dad was out playing with us, despite having thrown his shoulder out prior to any games. We played two-hand touch. Partially for him, and partially for a couple little kids who aren’t as excited about the violent prone sport of football. In what can only be described as a magnificent-but-beautiful failure, I showed why coming out of retirement for Neighborhood Football was a great idea. I ran myself into a corner where a big old bush cut me off. I was tagged out in mid leap, but I cleared that bush entirely and landed on a much lower altitude of ground on the other side and rolled over a sidewalk. I’ll feel that for days, but it showed I still have great athletic prowess. Later in the week, we played tackle football, which included kids who were presumably in shape and of the mid-teen age range. While that kid scored a few times, I once again, in Favre-like fashion, drove my team down for score after score after score.

8. Wife gets promoted

Yeah so she gets promoted..yeah I know...AGAIN! what a showoff! And in the process of getting set up she has to have her own phone put in....they activate a phone for her...only not the one in her little cube office....just some phone on the floor, which leads to a nice little treasure hunt. She finds phone, sets up voicemail, and in the process of it all spills coffee, and leaves a greeting for callers that calls them out with an expletive...


So yeah, that's the basics of what happened. Again, if you want more detail, please vote for what you want to see posted in its entirety, in the comment section.

And....we're back!

Yes! It's up and running again. Working on a loaner box at the moment, but able to connect and infiltrate the minds of my faithful readers with more mookified truisms. Blogs to come!

I am not ignoring people

Had some technological issues with the home computer this week. It seems a driver is fried and till that is fixed, will not be able to access blog, email, or anything else. I'm not ignoring anyone, I promise. Be ready for a backlog of blogs when we are up and running again.