Okay, so most of you know that We here in the Mookiefied Compound have undergone and survived one of the most hideous scenarios life can throw at us. Victims of a limited Nuclear Strike? NO. Attacked by a gaggle of venomous ducks in our sleep? Getting warmer, but no. H1N1 Flu takeover within the walls of the compound? I think it was trying, but No.
No, it was even more devastating than that:
That’s right…computer meltdown. After a few years of hearing advertisements about avoiding data loss in the event the computer shows us the “blue screen of death” by using their hard drive backup systems, we finally saw it….and without hard drive backup. Material for 2 different books, contact information for everyone we know, 6,700+ photos taken over many years…all gone. The ability to procrastinate real priorities by submersing ourselves into the internet news sites and blogs for information and entertainment, or playing dumb games like MafiaWars on the FaceBook… God please don’t take these options away from us!
Luckily, I, General Mook, being the great and resourceful leader that I am, had already procured the means to overcome this issue. Yes, I married a woman, who has an aunt and uncle who are computer geniuses. (What a strategic alliance I made!!!) The motherboard was in fact fried, more so than the Colonel’s Secret Recipe. And by Colonel, I mean Sanders…not my cat. However…all that information and all those memories taking shape in photos…RECOVERED!!!
So, today, I bring you fine readers a collection of headlines of events that have gone down over this time period of absence. If you find a topic you’d like to see more detail on, out of this list, merely make the request in the comment section.
1. Colonel Beauregard Sterling Lovell’s request for an XO denied.
While skimming thru the paper, I saw the Animal Rescue League page…there was a cat, already named Major pictured there. The General’s wife vetoed this option faster than the General could pass on the request.
2. Buggy’s Book of Digestive Biology Expands
Following his previously published comments of food melting into poop, Dr. Buggy now explains how chili and my digestive system work all the way to the end where the black beans committed suicide.
3. Mook And John Wayne Shoot a Movie Together, Scuffle Ensues
So, once in awhile I have some weird dreams. But hey, I got to be in
A movie with my favorite movie hero, and we end up in a fight even though it was some other idiot that pissed the Duke off.
4. Idiot Flips his lid, makes more work for me.
Some moron phoned Wells Fargo, made big threats and I get called in on my day off. I have mixed feelings about this.
5. 49ers Sports Update
I miss the 49ers get their first shutout of the season against an admittedly horrible St Louis Rams team; the following week, the 49ers apparently missed their own game (at home!), forcing Coach Singletary to hire stunt doubles at the last moment to take on the Atlanta Falcons.
6. Boy comes home sick, H1N1 tries to kill him; father instead chooses
to kill boy with board games.
So the oldest son comes home not feeling well, running a fever, and gives himself a 3 day holiday in advance of the impending 3 day weekend. 6 days off, in a row?? For a fever? Oh well. Was it H1N1? Probably not, but even if it was, all anyone needs is for my immune system to be in the same general area, and any sickness will meet its own grim destiny. So, the boy… he wants me to play games with him while we’re stuck at home. First its checkers…victory: DAD. Chess is semi-taught to the boy upon request: victory: DAD. Then the boy wants to learn the game of Stratego. I try to teach him, but he really should warm up for this game with lesser players until he gets the hang of things. I have never been defeated in this game…and I mean NEVER…needless to say, this streak is still going strong. I have my first serious challenge coming up over Christmas. I have a date with demoralizing a certain rocket scientist I call my brother-in-law.
7. Backyard Football Hero Still Golden, Even as Golden Years Threaten To Approach
I wasn’t the oldest guy out there. The guy downstairs who is almost old enough to be my dad was out playing with us, despite having thrown his shoulder out prior to any games. We played two-hand touch. Partially for him, and partially for a couple little kids who aren’t as excited about the violent prone sport of football. In what can only be described as a magnificent-but-beautiful failure, I showed why coming out of retirement for Neighborhood Football was a great idea. I ran myself into a corner where a big old bush cut me off. I was tagged out in mid leap, but I cleared that bush entirely and landed on a much lower altitude of ground on the other side and rolled over a sidewalk. I’ll feel that for days, but it showed I still have great athletic prowess. Later in the week, we played tackle football, which included kids who were presumably in shape and of the mid-teen age range. While that kid scored a few times, I once again, in Favre-like fashion, drove my team down for score after score after score.
8. Wife gets promoted
Yeah so she gets promoted..yeah I know...AGAIN! what a showoff! And in the process of getting set up she has to have her own phone put in....they activate a phone for her...only not the one in her little cube office....just some phone on the floor, which leads to a nice little treasure hunt. She finds phone, sets up voicemail, and in the process of it all spills coffee, and leaves a greeting for callers that calls them out with an expletive...
So yeah, that's the basics of what happened. Again, if you want more detail, please vote for what you want to see posted in its entirety, in the comment section.