The Great Hunt of 2018

My much diminished blogging has me posting my first blog of the year when the year is almost over.

Another first in my life occurred over the last week. I went hunting for deer.  I had never before had a hunting license, much less gone out with the intention of killing some creature for meat.

Earlier this year my brother- and sister-in-law purchased some land down in southern Iowa, and for weeks he had told me I need to go get my license and a tag and come deer hunting with him.  I was already intending to take some time off for a family Christmas which just happened to coincide with the first half of the 2nd shotgun season here in Iowa.  The family gathering was cancelled for a variety of reasons, so it worked out well that I could go with him.

My first Great Hunt....or as I have learned this years tagline should be, "5 days of bonding, freezing my ass off, and no meat or trophy to show for it."

Day 1 was very exciting, partially due to this being a brand new experience for me, but also because that is the day we saw plenty of deer. Unfortunately for us the big push that came our way managed to pass through far enough away from our position for us to get a clean shot.  A little while later, my brother-in-law went to move the truck up towards the gate from the bottom of the property when luck struck.  I was positioned near the southeast corner of the property and witnessed our first fortune.  As he pulled up close, a young button buck invaded the property from the west. Mr. Buttons, as we called him, froze up.  Phil, however, did not. He popped from the truck, grab his gun and level it out over the opened door. At this point I had not seen the deer just inside the fence line. I followed the direction of his pointed gun and saw the deer standing there just staring at him. Then I heard the Boom and no more deer.  A shout of "Woo-Hoo!" came from Phil. Mere hours into our first day, and we were doing well.  Phil with his newest pal pictured below:

Day 2 found only 1 deer on the property, literally as it was jumping the fence to leave, and about 100 yards out, mooning Phil as she left.

Day 3, I went out on my own to some public hunting land near the metro.  Any other time of the year I could look out there and see plenty. I think they had been spooked over the past couple weeks of hunting and saw none.

Day 4, back to the property. Only 1 buck and a couple of does seen, none of them on the property.

I kicked myself for giving in to the cold. Had I waited another 10 to 15 minutes, that buck would literally have presented himself to me as a gift.  If only I would've just listened to my Uncle George's words of hunker down in one spot and wait to see if a deer or the end of the day comes first. I never did listen too well, and have a tendency to be impatient. This time it bit me in the ass.  I have spent the last couple weeks watching friends and family posting pictures from successful hunts, and I wanted so badly to be able to do the same.  I HATE, and I mean absolutely hate, not being successful at something the first time out.  I didn't care if I got some massive trophy buck or some small doe, I just wanted something worth taking a picture of while being able to fill my freezer with meat. Obviously, the arcade game Big Buck Hunter, where they present me with prey to shoot, is clearly more my speed, and completely different from the realities of being out in the countryside waiting on targets to come through.

I have received wishes of luck, reminders not to shoot myself or anyone else (especially my brother-in-law), and a few requests for deer meat from people who clearly had more faith in my hunting abilities than reality has shown.  I was told a few times not to get discouraged if I don't shoot anything.  I am frustrated, to say the least, and not looking forward to going back to work without having killed something. Discouraged, however, I am not. I intend to go out hunting again (and maybe listen to advice a little better), and hopefully have better outings where I will get to show off pictures of my own.

Global Raining Will Kill Us All

With the debate about the supposedly undebatable Global Warming issue,heating up, allow me to present to you another undebatable subject: Global Raining!

All over the globe, rain has been falling in massive amounts. Where it isn't coming down like the Noahic Flood, it is still coming down, only in lesser amounts. Gobal Warming's effect which caused one of the coldest years in history since 1900 (due to the fact that global warming apparently includes global cooling...who knew?), giving us an extended winter, especially within the Midwestern United States, Spring is finally arriving over a month late. Rain having fallen locally in Iowa area 75% of the days since March 20th, the official start of Spring.

With so much rain falling, causing flooding that has not subsided along the Mississippi River near Burlington since the ice melt, and intermittent flooding in other areas, Global raining has shown its ugly face, destroying immediately property, cropland, as well as businesses and housing, occasionally causing death as well.

Crop planting is under 50% of where it should be in Iowa as of today. Without full crop sewing, the reaping will also be less and/or delayed greatly. This will increase the price of an already questionable Ethanol product, which has gained popularity in the Midwestern states and amongst the "Greenies". Also, the effects on food corn, and other crops such as soybeans will cause dramatic effects on prices, and supply. In order to maintain fuel crops to be competitive, more and more subsidies will have to be lent by state and federal governments, and thusly, American taxpayers.
With fuel costs rising, mass violence is predicted int eh form of riots with at least 1438478 billion participants in Iowa alone, nevermind the remainder of the country. We would include the world in these riots, but they would have been food based riots, however, would-be rioters have already been predicted to starve to death prior to rioting.
Now, before you all jump on the bandwagon that this is merely localized, notice the rainfall causing mudslides in the Phillipines, Cyclones in Myanmar that have rain associated with them. Yes that's right...rain including groundswell based rain in the form of rising tides due to storms.
Rain filled up massive resevoirs in China. Resevoirs who's dams have been damaged not only by time and increased water pressure, but the recent earthquake as well. My team of researchers is still working on how rain caused the earthquake, but be not alarmed, we will make the connection no matter how ludicrous.
Also, we have determined that this is your fault. If you hadn't run so much water, and sweated so much during the hot times, evaporation would've picked up less water to drop down on the world's population in the form of this deadly rain.
But..WE DO HAVE A SOLUTION! First off, it includes sending cash to Mookie (future President in 2016! and former pale superhero). Sorry no checks or credit cards, just plain old cold hard cash. WE (my other personalities and myself) have set up a special account to deal with issues as we see fit. We can't surrently release teh details for reasons of, um...national security? But we assure you we will do all we can to make sure you are not taken out by this deadly and undeniable global phenomenon. In the meantime, while we await your voluntary contributions (do NOT make us involve the U.N. to impose this upon you), we'll be out filling up our new pool and watering our lawn with no less than 3 billion cubic meters of water....recycled from the recent downpours of course..because we care we wont use NEW water. That, and with an hour's break from the toreential downpours, we don't want the grass to die. Thank you in advance for your support!