Sunday, March 25, 2012

Mookified War On Terror Continues

As you all know, the Mookified History is a rich history of military "events" dotted throughout its existence. There were the moments of internal strife, as Colonel Beauregard Sterling (B.S.) Lovell and Corwyn aka "Buggy" went from a mere misunderstanding to a longstanding feud ala the Hatfields & McCoys. Much like the Korean War, truce rather than treaty has left the situation precarious. Anything could set off that tinderbox into an explosive all out war.

Then there was the War on Pests. Ants, and more seriously, FLEAS, had invaded the Mookified Compound, staging an insurgency that lasted over a year. Hydro-warfare, chemical warfare and other such tactics were used to almost no avail. Then after long meditation, the answer came. Now constantly you hear the GOP members trying to unseat Obama and other democrats from political power constantly channeling the late President Ronald Reagan, as if they know how he would react in situations of grave importance. However their ideological mindset has blinded them from truly hearing the message of "The Great Communicator". What most people don't realize, is that Ronald Reagan and I have communicated. From his picture with John Wayne, Dean Martin, and Bob Hope, he spoke directly to me with what will eventually become words immortalized in history: "Mr. Mook, throw down that bed-couch!"
With those words of wisdom, I thusly removed the semi-permanent (it was really heavy) hide-a-bed couch, through the sliders and off the edge of my 2nd floor deck out onto the ground below. Then to the dumpster it went, and the Flea Army never returned. Once again victorious, the Mookified Compound experienced an unprecedented period of peace.

Remember that powder keg of a situation between the Colonel and Bug? Well, it heated up in a different way. Instead of direct confrontation, the Colonel sent out his hired Soldiers of Fortune (pictured below).

In a well planned swift raid, Buggy, the scourge of feline terrors, was apprehended. Here he is shown with his also captured stash of weapons used in his constant onslaught of the neighborhood.

As you can see, he was well equipped with both halves of a broken Spartan spear, plastic light machine gun, plastic revolver, police-style baton (commonly associated with random beat downs of unsuspecting civilians), a tennis ball and super compressed foam baseball (used like stun grenades, only ninja-like with their lack of explosive material).

At first reaction once being notified of this black ops mission and its result, I was hard pressed to release the prisoner. However, being a staunch supporter of ending terrorism, and the need to show our commitment, we released this photo to the general public to show how committed we are that we will take down our own. We at the Mookifed Compound have shown that we embrace the zero tolerance of terrorism, in addition to our solemn refuting of anything communism (generally defined as anything I disagree with, including the consumption of pineapple, coconut or cabbage).

It is this kind of resolve that clearly shows that World Domination (such as I have demonstrated repeatedly in the game RISK)
will be mine, despite any claims by Selena over at Motherhood Sucks in her latest blog.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Sunshine Award Winning Blog!

I realize that it's been almost 2 months since my last blog. My excuse? Well, that is obvious to those that know me: I'm lazy and I procrastinate with writing even on the best of ideas. I have successfully managed to not write over 5 dozen Pulitzer Prize-winning articles. I have also managed to avoid writing best-selling children's books, psychological thrillers, and 4 well told horror stories that stand on their own as great movies, even before the gory bloodshed and CGI effects are thrown in. I have written a factional (yes, fActional, NOT fictional... the story is based on true events, but my memory is occasionally suspect) autobiography, got some of it printed off, then my old computer crashed like a junkie on a 2 week crack binge. I have yet to reintegrate it onto this electronical box of motherboards, chips, and other such technological stuff only an IT guy can truly appreciate on its most atomical level.

However, all that being said Selena over at the Motherhood Sucks Blog has nominated me for the Sunshine Award. I don't know if it is because it was National Sunshine Week, celebrating openness of government or some other such crap, and since I'm usually so open that I get the award by default or what. But hey, I take whatever credit I get from the outside world. Usually it's only me giving myself credit anyways. I have been given the responsibility of playing the game. Although given that Sunshine Week ended already, I intend to re-classify all information as soon as it's transcribed, so what you will read is most likely propagandized B.S. After all, as a self described government entity, The Mookified Compound, probably under intense scrutiny by the U.S. Government as a homegrown terrorist insurgency (The Colonel and I are huge bad asses and well on our way to becoming a nuclear power well before Iran), feels the need to protect the people (that's you) from the truth.

The rules of the Sunshine Award are as follows:

1. Include the award logo in a post or on your blog.
2. Answer 10 questions about yourself.
3. Nominate 10-12 other fabulous bloggers.
4. Link your nominees to the post and comment on their blogs, letting them know that they have been nominated.
5. Share the Love and link back to the person who nominated you .

Sunshine Awards Questions:

1. What is your favorite color?

Blue. All other colors are conspiracies by communist sympathizers, and therefore no longer are officially recognized

2. What is your favorite animal?

Koalas. What other animal looks cuddly enough for a baby to hug before ripping you to shreds with those big ass claws? And we thought all vegetarians are pussies. Well done cuddly furball of death.

3. Favorite Non-Alcoholic Drink?

COFFEE! Because without it, I'd be more apathetic towards life than a cadaver.

4. What is your favorite number?

7- because it eight 9

5. Facebook or Twitter?

I once had a facebook account. I killed it. With my bare hands. I refused to ever breathe life into twitter. Twitter can die. Feed it to a Koala.

6. What is your passion?

Sorry, the Mook is officially an emotionless creature. Passion does not compute into the Mind of Mookie

7. What is your favorite time of day?

Whatever time I might be committing suicide by exercise by playing football or basketball against kids half my age and twice my size. In case you're wondering, this overweight, out of shape, smoker usually wins the games. I just hurt a million times more in my 30s because of my warrior skills being put to use. The Force is literally killing its user.

8. Favorite day of the week?

Saturday- because I don't work, and I don't have to go to bed early for work the next day. And there are cartoons on!

9. Favorite Flower?
Flowers? We don't need no stinking flowers!!!

10. Give or Get Presents?

Again, some readers know me. If you wanna give me a present, make it the present of getting me nothing. I keep saying, I don't want anything for Christmas or my birthday. But then people go screw it up and get me stuff. That's more crap to take care of. (Aunt Denise- KEEP sending the Lebkuchen and Contessa. That stuff is useful. I only have to put it away in my belly). I only give presents out because otherwise I gotta listen to a bunch of people telling me what an asshole I am...I already know this, I just don't wanna hear it.

As for nominating other fellow bloggers, both of whom I doubt will carry this on, as they blog about more important stuff than what I send them:

Brother P, because while we are different in a lot of ways, he always keeps me informed on what happens on the other side of the racial coin, entertains me with his description of certain villains (usually republican in nature), and always listens to others points of view with an honest open ear. And if those points of view are completely stupid...he points that out too. Political correctness seems to be a casualty with him, and I really like that about him, even if he is a Star Trek fan.

Scott, the Professor from the University of Maine. He writes about all facets of life, from personal stories, to the issues of the day culturally and politically. Smart as a whip, but generally humble guy, unlike some other pompous educated asses I've run into from time to time. And with him, ANYTHING (and I mean ANYthing) can be paralleled with a song from Styx or Rush or some other band he listens to before summoning blogs into his mind and straight to the computer.