Monday, December 22, 2008

The (not so) Many Faces of Josh

These pictures are the collage of my 9 year old Josh. This is the closest I can find to Josh actually smiling a little more naturally. Most often, when the camera shows up, he puts on a smile, but it looks much more like a grimmace. His looks seem to be more like his grandpa, my dad. The big huge Adam's apple that shows ever so prominently, only furthers his likeness to grandpa. So does the appearance here, of him spacing off slightly.

And here, you'll notice that the expression on his face didn't change much. It seems as though he came out of "space world" and is actually looking at the camera. But hey, no grimmace! YAY! Now if I can just get him to stay out of space world in school we won't get notes from his teacher saying he is missing a work packet! He tends to excel at those subjects he likes, the rest be damned. Who knows, he may be the world's greatest idea man later in life, so it may not be an issue!

And this look here is Classic Josh. He too has a great vibrancy for life. This smile might mean he is happy, he might be amused, or he is contemplating attacking me. And trust appears to be a glare off his glasses, but that is most definitely an excited twinkle from his eye.
It used to be easy to manhandle him with one arm when he gets the itch to tangle with me. However he is getting stronger by the day. It now takes both hands to contain this package of pure energy. I'm still working on the focusing thing. He flails wildly, occasionally landing a good solid hit on me when we wrestle, but due to his lack of focus, and want to jump and twist around like some sort of cartoon ninja on crack, I still have the upperhand overall. I only pray I can keep it....otherwise "Evil Buggy" will plot my demise and Josh will execute the plan. Well, maybe. Josh is stubborn like his mother and I both, yes he got it from both sides, so it actually quadrupled its effects. Josh likes to be the leader, whether he has any knowledge or credibility amongst whoever he is with at any given time. So he may just be the one to plot it, and use Buggy to help him hide my body, if only to be the leadership of everything in his realm!

The Many Faces Of Buggy

The true face of Corwyn, aka Buggy, once his mother leaves the house. I think at times, this boy was brought into the world with one sole purpose: To love his mommy, lavish her with praise randomly, take her side no matter what, and to make my life way more, how should I put interesting. This face is known officially as "Evil Buggy". He is surely plotting something right now.

Here is the Buggy that most people see. Cute, innocent, and a normal going-on-5-year-old. He has a huge vibrancy for life and learning how to do things. Then everyone leaves and he is left alone with if on cue, return to the first picture. It would be comical to me, except for the fact that I fear for my life. The boy has a penchant for licking me as a fighting mechanism. He once left peanut butter on my arm as a reminder that he owns me, and that his tongue is a peanut butter magnet. This picture is also known as "Normal Buggy".

And then you have this look. I'm not even sure how to explain this one. It has differnet meanings. The first and foremost is probably "look, my eyeballs are big!!"
The second is probably the look he gives his mother after she hears me shrieking like a girl in response to his disgusting lickathons on me. As if he is saying "What? I don't know what Daddy is talking about. You mean licking is not good? Look, I'm not even 5 yet...and I'm cute. Feed me!" Clearly he is just using this in his arsenal of childhood to throw people off his real path (see picture 1). I really feel I better put the message out into the world, before he devises new ways to torture, and eventually, eradicate me from the living.

Seriously though, Corwyn is a very photogenic child, and he knows it. As soon as a camera shows up, he is always finding a way to entertain the viewer of the ensuing photo. AND....his birthday is December 24th. Your poll question here is: Do I gip him for his birthday or Christmas? LMAO

Monday, December 8, 2008

I've Been Tagged

I was tagged by Helen Losse

RULE ONE, I have to grab one of the books closest to me, go to page 56, type the fifth line and the next two to five lines that follow.

RULE TWO, I have to pick five people who love books and who could receive the Bookworm award with honor.


...when he was hired that he did not particularly care about having a regular day off as long as he had permission to attend all public hangings. It was common to see Ayer and his wife and girls riding along the center strip of Commonwealth Avenue. Ayer rode until he was well into his nineties and thought nothing of chopping wood for exercise.

From the Book, Patton: A Genius For War, p. 56

I will tag Godfather, SWFreedomlover, Jed Burns, Brother Peacemaker, Scott Erb

Saturday, December 6, 2008


Walking Arsenal of Kung Fu Death Arrives!!

Well, its been 22 years in the making, and the dream has finally come to fruition!

That's right, GI JOE has arrived to the Mookified Compound! And not just any GI JOE, But....

Yes, that's right! The awesomeness of Kung Fu Grip!!! The specs on this awesome warriorare as follows
Code Name: Desert Wolf
Special Training: Desert Survival Techniques
Weapons Proficiency: Long Range Rifle, Grenade Launcher
Tactics: Desert Camouflage
Background: Covert Operations in arid regions around the world.

So yes, now, THANK YOU TO BARB, AKA QUEEN ESTHA OF DELVANIA....I now have my very own, very much coveted, GI Joe (with the kung fu grip). It's pure awesomeness even excited my two boys who quickly latched onto the ACTION FIGURE (not a friggin doll) with their eyes. They were quickly informed that the GI JOE (with the kung fu grip) is DADDY'S!!!

It took a LOT of work to get these pictures, as my wife is the camera proficient one in the family, and the only one who knows how to transfer the pictures to the computer, edit them, and all that good stuff. She threatened to not take the pictures or upload them into the computer, if she ever had to hear me whine again about my GI JOE (with the kung fu grip). Eventually she capitulated. I'd like to think that my using the blog as propoganda against her, showing her to be a real American Hero-hating, terrorist sympathizer was what tipped the scales, but I'm sure she'd disagree. But I now have to be careful about ever mentioning GI JOE (with the kung fu grip) around her....she just may decide to kidnap this elite warrior and make him disappear forever. I don't think she's aware of his awesome arsenal of weapons he has at hand, as well as the power of the mighty kung fu grip he comes equipped with. But, I don't want to tempt fate. But YOU CAN!!!! Comment the crap out of this blog, repeatedly mentioning GI JOE (with the kung fu grip), as well as comment bomb her with mention of it.....yes, a multi front war of electronic information (type and photos) would be a true show of support to GI JOOOOEEEE- AMERICAN HEROOOOO!

Friday, December 5, 2008

An Update From The Colonel

From The Desk Of:

Col. Beauregard Sterling Lovell, Mookified Army, Feline Brigade, Commanding

Well, it has been awhile since we last updated all you humans on the state of affairs within the feline world. We have, as most of you know, completely and totally eradicated the terrorist fleas in our protracted War On Pests ('07-'08)

With the weather getting colder by the minute, our other small enemy forces have died off. Besides that, catching flies and eating them became a rather dull activity to pass the time.

Christmas is coming up and the General's wife put up the annual Christmas tree, complete with their stupid decorations. I like to call this thing, The Curiosity That Almost Killed The Cat. I have successfully attacked candy canes and random artificial tree branches, and managed to escape prior to a swift death blow from the wife.

Fecal matter manufacturing production rates have gone down for unknown reasons. We have engaged ourselves in a fiber intake exercise by eating cardboard boxes, random pieces of paper, and other such items in order to keep the General from getting into a slower relaxed routine when it comes to cleaning my catbox out. Recently, the General's youngest son, Private Bug The Terrible had out a Santa Clause Coloring Book. I ate part of it, right along the spine, essentially dissembling the books structural integrity. Served the little punk right. He's always harassing me anyways.

After many instances of psychosis from the child factors running rampantly about the place, I have taken to luring the general and his wife into a false sense of security. I cuddle up on their lap and act all loving with them. This lets down their guard for when I choose to sneak attack them and bite their toes, or attack loose pieces of their clothing. It really is entertaining. And since they wont let me outside to wage preemptive war against other undesirables such as the rabbits, squirrels, chipmunks and birds, this is really my only option.

They have banned me from my practice of patrolling the perimeter of the upstairs neighbors' deck, and running rampantly through the hallways awaiting some poor unsuspecting child to let me sneak out the door when they come in. It really is a shame, and they will pay for this eventually. I do know where they sleep, afterall.

I have learned how to manipulate the General as it is, for my own amusement. It seems one of his previous cats used to make him escort the cat to the food dish and pet him in order to coax eating. I could eat on my own, but it sure is funny making the General cater to my wants, and walk me to an obviously full food dish. It really irritates him, which pleases me of course.

Nothing else to report at this time.


Col. B.S. Lovell

Thursday, December 4, 2008

A Thought On God

This could also be titled, "Man's Thinking On How To Operate With God"

I'm pretty sure more people than just myself have noticed, the bathroom can also be called the Reading Room. Don't worry, that's as graphic as it gets. The current book sitting in the bathroom is titled An Enemy Called Average by John L. Mason. It's basically one of those self help/positivity books written by a christian author. Overall, it serves its purpose, but I noticed in one of the mutliple short chapters covered in this book, a list on how to attain godly wisdom.

Most of them are pretty standard: Please God, Follow his ways, look to Him, Pray, etc etc. But to top the list I noticed something I found contradictorily odd. FEAR GOD!

Many churches I have been in attendance of at one time or another, tell me that God is good, and that all things good come from God. That negative things in our life are a result of our humanness, or influences of Satan. Fear appears to be a pretty big negative thing, and it is something that oftentimes holds us back.
God commanded us to move forward, to take dominion over the earth.

Many issues I have had with the churches, are that many of them are just loaded with certain human oddities, do this, don't do that. If you did what you werent supposed to do, confess to another guy and he can wipe it out for you, but if you dont, somehow you arent as good a member of the church as those who do, and so on and so forth. The basic core message we are taught as kids in Sunday School is that God is good, He is our God, he sent his Son, Jesus Christ to die for our sins, and if we believe that, we're good as gold and looking forward to our trip to Heaven. As we get older, suddenly a whole litany of rules and regulations get introduced to us, through whatever church we attend, and how these are how we should act to be a good christian.

Anyways, I'm rambling... So if God is good, and fear is bad, why would I combine the two? Why should I fear Goodness? If its good, I should like it and embrace it. If its bad I should shun it. At least this is the message I have gotten from multiple sources. Maybe I'm just not understanding things clearly. If I am gripped with fear of goodness, what motivation is this move forward and accept all that God has to offer me? Do good unto others is big teaching, but the whole message of "fear God" now suddenly adds an addendum to this: Do good unto others, ...OR ELSE!

It all seems to be one big mess to me. Do I operate with love in my heart, or fear? Courage or trepidation? Strength or weakness?

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Will This Be The Year?

So, coming up shortly is my 29th Christmas on this here planet. It is also the 22nd Christmas since I first asked for the GI Joe with the Kung-Fu grip. So far I have found myself highly disappointed 21 times. Clearly my family hates me and is wholly against my wishes.

For years I have asked for just such an item, and for years I have been denied. For years I received the bane of all Christmas gifts, socks and underwear. Except for the time in college, when my laundry budget decreed that more socks and underwear were necessary to avoid having to spend precious beer money on such trivial things like clean clothes. The one time I need them to gift me such things, they take that which I coveted, and withhold it. Seriously, as a 19-20 year old, this was one of the most serious issues of my daily life for which I had to live with.

Now back to the issue of the GI JOE (with the kungfu grip--can't forget that very important attribute). I have received huge models of firetrucks with working ladders (not asked for), stuffed animals (not asked for) and multiple other items that left me with the profound thought of "Where in the $%^! is my @%@#$%@% GI JOE (with the kungfu grip)?!?!?!?"

Clearly, this is one of the core issues that has left me mentally unstable over the years. The lack of GI JOE (with teh kungfu grip)is representative of the Freudian nature of my relationship with my parents. That, and not writing out a check to whereever when I deemed it was necessary to eat out at a restuarant. Clearly, they are responsible for all my worldly woes, and I'll not have any of you taking hteir side. I will just as easily result to sticking my fingers in my ears and "lalalalala"-ing you until you shut up with all that noise.

So, I am hoping this year is the year, in which my life's dream may be redeemed. Obviously I will stagnate indefinitely until such wrongs are righted. I could lose my car, go homeless, and contract some wierd venereal disease only known to certain places of disrepute in southeast Asia, and be fine, as long as I have my GI JOE (with the kungfu grip).

NOTE: To any of you ready to comment about being loved by God, and that gifts aren't the reason for the season...Yes we all get that, however this was a test of the Emergency Sarcasm Warning System. It was only a test, had the real sarcasm shown its face, you'd be crying in your soup right now with my biting words and indignant attitude about it all. And if you don't have any soup to cry in on such occasions, one bowl may be provided to you at no cost.