Friday, June 20, 2008

A Little Friday Fun With VERY Localized News

Terrorist Flight Taken Down Over Domestic Shores

This report just in, and will probably never be aired or printed by the mainstream media.

Recent flights over sovereign territory by terrorists have escalated as of late. To date no terrorist has been found to have conducted further acts of terrorism, other than the blatant harrasment of our border defenses coupled into aerial intel probes.

Today we can proudly say that our military arm reacted to a clear and present terrorist threat within our airspace, and downed the enemy with precise targeting measures that eliminated the possibility of any collateral damage.

A source within the administration speaking on condition of anonymity, as he was not cleared to make public comment, confirmed the altercation, the military's response, and subsequent recovery of the now deceased terrorists body.

Colonel Beauregard Sterling Lovell, Supreme Commander of the Mookified Armed Services was personally responsible for overseeing the operation and was credited with singlepawedly eliminating the threat.

At approximately 0945HRS, An enemy Wren was spotted making incursions back and forth over the coastal base known simply as "The Deck", making touch and go landings on the "cooling zone", which is known to most civilians as a wall mounted AC unit. Also known as a localized seasonal global warming combatant, this unit was feared to be endangered by terrorists.

The low flying Wren fighting bird, who had previously made deliberate passes at the Colonel's head, once again harassed Colonel Lovell. This time with much different results than previous incidents. With fine bones, stealth like movements and cat-like reflexes (pun intended), the Colonel leapt to action, bringing the enemy bird down, and quickly killed the terrorist. Reports are that the body was personally delivered to the kitchen of General and President Mike "Mookie" Lovell. It was quickly dismissed as a poor specimen for lunch and discarded in the way that the administration deals with the deceased enemy combatants: Unrespectfully dumped off the shores of the Democratic Republic of Mike Lovell.

No further comments could be obtained, and the Administration has yet to issue a direct official statement.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I can't wait to see the reactions to this one!

Will there be "fair and balanced reporting?" Will CNN run with this for the next 24 hours. Will something of this nature bump Tiger out of the ESPN top things to talk about?

We will see.

Godfather (