Writing To Write

So, its been a couple of weeks since I've written anything down on this blog. Most of my writing during this time has been either notes to my wife, or adding more writings to one of my books.

At count yesterday, formatting the book to a smaller size than the standard Word document of 8.5" x 11", I had 150 pages typed out. I have since added a few more chapters. Obviously it is all rough draft at this point, and I expect once I move forward with the publishing aspect, that an editor will start eviscerating my works and paring it down to a much smaller number. So the more I write now, the closer I'll be towards having a book of decent length when I go into my rewrites.

I have also used some of my weekend to hang out with my boys. The youngest boy, Buggy, recently learned how to ride his bike. Last weekend all four of us took a short ride around our part of town. Since then I took the boys onto a nearby walking/bike trail for some more experience off the streets. The oldest boy, Josh, has just been speeding along on his bike, getting out ahead of myself and Buggy, before stopping and waiting for us to catch up, and then continuing on his merry little way. Josh was sick this weekend, and is in fact on the couch behind me right now, home from school. So Buggy and I went for a nice little ride father-son ride by ourselves while Josh hung out at home and my wife was baking pies and cleaning the house. I don't get any of the pie. this is a bit of a disappointment to a pie lover like me, but it is the going exchange rate for our friend Trevor coming over and helping me fix the brakes on my car. Pretty sweet deal I'd say.

Anyways, Buggy got to decide which way to go, which he took great delight in. We road through a small residential subdivision to the west of us that is a pretty hilly terrain. He had mixed feelings about the downhill treks at times, worrying he was going too fast and might wreck himself, but he soldiered on and even managed to use his little legs to pedal himself right up some fairly long hills. There was only one moment in which he scared the bejeezus out of me. We were going on a downward slope, and as we traveled down the sidewalk he was out in the lead, pedaling away instead of coasting. I saw the car beginning to back out of the drive. I yelled at him to stop, but sometimes his own panic causes him to seize up and not hit the brakes. Luckily the car stopped and he steered himself right around it. I had the girl in the car apologizing to me for not seeing him, and him apologizing to me for not stopping in time. I was just glad he was okay, and did not relish the idea of having to tell his mother to meet us at the emergency room because he got smacked by a car! From there, we went and road on the bike trail once again, stopping for a few moments for him to play at a playground that abuts the trail, before coming home. I'm not used to the biking after so many years that I was getting tuckered out, and eventually he too was getting tired in the legs, as he opted to walk the bike up a few hills not nearly as steep as the ones he had pedaled up before.

I've also spent a considerable amount of time just reading. Mostly on the subject of manhood, and how to be a more considerate, participating, and loving husband and father. I've come to realize that I've spent most of my adult life, more as a guy than an actual man. So, while its taken me some time to wake up from the me-centric self I have been, I'm working on improving that aspect of my life, so that I might be a better person all around as God intended for me to be. And to play my part as leader and scout and provisionary for my family that He also intended for me.

Right now I'm reading the book Tender Warrior by Stu Weber, a former Special Forces guy turned Pastor. Once I'm done with that I will be diving into Wild At Heart and its sequel by John Eldredge during my time of personal and spiritual development. Now I just have to learn how to loosen up some more around people in public instead of being the frumpy, keep-to-myself jackass I've turned into over the years.

That's really all I have to say at this point in time. So welcome to October I guess...

A Change In Priority

So I have spent the last few years doing nothing more than chasing the dollar bill. Instead of spending time with my family and guiding them through life, I have left the family activities mostly to my wife.

This year, I have actively taken extra time off to do things with and for my family. My wife, Dani, and I spent time alone Saturday night, walking around downtown int he evening before attending an event at the Civic Center with Bill Cosby. It was a great time to get out, just the two of us and no kids! We NEVER get that!!

Then yesterday, I took the whole family out for ice cream, and then down to a park that sits alongside a local walk/bike trail. We spent a little time walking down the trail until we hit an offshoot that leads to a completely different neighborhood in town. It bridges out over Walnut Creek, which cuts right through the middle of our little suburb. On the opposite side of the bridge, which is directly over some artificially made rapids (concrete chunks spread across the creek), there is a sandy side of the creek's bank. You could sit here in relative peace, save the occasional biker/jogger/walker on the trail across the expansive creek. My wife had a little time to sit there and refresh her mind, while I took my two boys down to the sandbar on the bend to be near the water.

Flashback almost 20 years. (cue the Wayne's World freaky music) In Sac City, the Ahrens Street bridge crosses over the Raccoon River on the southside of town. Under this bridge is a shallow pass of water before reaching an island of good size to play on the river. My friend Jay, his younger brother, my sister and I, would toy around on the island for awhile before deciding we had to explore the river. Soon we would find ourselves a quarter to half-mile downriver, having waded every inch of it.

Back to the present, the boys and I decided to lose the shoes and socks, and step into the creek. Wide, but shallow, it was easy to manage for me as well as the two boys, Corwyn (age 4) and Josh (age 9). In fact the water was clear enough that you could see to the bottom. Well, until you disturbed the silt laying on top the sandy bottom anyways. There were some sections where the current moved much faster through channeled areas. Josh pretty much followed my words to the "T", while Corwyn, the ever adventurous one, was determined to get caught up in the current, and slip into the drop offs. Josh and I, both managed to keep our clothes relatively dry, with just the bottom of our rolled up pants getting splashed. Corwyn on the other hand, managed to completely soak his shorts and undies. Not that he cared, once he saw that I wasn't bothered by him getting his clothes wet. We spent about 15 or 20 minutes moving downstream, and we were rewarded with the sight of a Mallard Duck couple. The boys really thought that was great, and enjoyed their time wading through the creek with me, that they didn't even object when I told them it was time to turn around (something very rare to happen if they are at the park!).

I felt in my natural element while wading through the cold water of Walnut Creek, despite my loud opinion against submersing myself in cold water, or swimming. I think God opened up first my heart, to show me that I needed to spend more time with my family. Then yesterday, He opened up my eyes to show me how much the boys relish this rare time with Dad, just being boys, and exploring nature, just as I did as a young boy. I plan on, and look forward to spending more time with the boys doing the "manly" boy activities. Partly because it is just plain fun, and partly because I think I need the time with my boys just as much as they need the time with me, instead of seeing me on occasional outside the house. I am so very grateful that God moved me to go to the trail instead of home after our ice cream outing. He truly knows me and what's good for me much more so than I.