As some of you know, while I'm not homeless and desitute, I don't have a whole lot of what one might call luxury. Two things I grew up with as a constant was 1) a dirtpile to play in and 2) an actual yard, with actual grass. This first picture is actually the neighbor on the other side of the rear walkways "yard", but its pretty much the same as ours once looked. I didn't think to do a complete "before and after" pictorial until it was already too late.
I figured the company that owns all the apartments, townhomes, etc in this part of town wouldn't allow a big huge dirtpile for me and my boys to drive toy trucks on and play army with the little plastic green army men. So I figured spending money on just a lot of dirt just to pile it up would be money truly wasted. And trust me, for the most part, despite a few instances of generosity, I'm pretty much just a cheap old fart. I also have figured out having lived in my previous apartment for almost 8 years, and this place being owned by the same people, getting them to create a lawn for me was just not going to happen. Getting anything actually FIXED, no matter how emergency it might be, is almost hopeless. Most fixes are either something you resign yourself to live with because its almost better than it was before they "fixed" the problem, or you end up putting time, effort, and occasionally money into fixing it on your own anyways. So, I hauled off to the local Home Depot to grab some top soil, starter fertilizer and some shade grass seed.
I started off a small "test plot". I figured if things were just so bad that grass was absolutely not going to grow, I'd not waste too much money covering the entire yard in top soil and fertilizer and what would essentially amount to bird seed. It came up patchy and it was about a week before I saw new grass peeking through the new soil. Let me tell you, I was quite a giddy little boy. I just played God with my small chunk of environment and it was a nominal success. Slowly as the first bits grew taller, it began to spread.
Here, you find the grass a little thicker, taller and even in the barren patches, there are small little shoots of grass beginning to show through. I am pleased, VERY pleased this is happening, while I can remain in my natural state of laziness. Those are my knees you see in the photo, as I am sitting in my little camping chair, probably enjoying a high fructose corn syrup laden Pepsi, and most likely a cigarette. Yes, I know what you're thinking right now. And YES, I am the epitome of healthy living. A full picture of me enjoying Pepsi and Marlboros while sitting on my increasingly large rear end really should be put on the front of some fitness magazine to help motivate the "little people" out there who are still looking for the keys to a good long life. "Soda, Smokes, and Grass- The Mook's Guide to Happy, Healthy Living" Some years down the road, there will be a follow up article on me on how I achieved diabetes, heart attacks, strokes, and obesity- complete with photos of EMTs using a crane to lift my lifeless body out of my meticulously manicured grass lawn.
After a bit of watering and three days time... Their side of the grass grew up, and here we are just a week and a day since that part of the project began, as you can see in this last photo below:
Now, the neighbor may think this is his lawn now, but under the Articles of Mookism, given it was my labor and it is essentially a seamless attachment to the property known as the Mookified Compound, it pretty much is the same thing as an annexation, and therefore lawfully and legally declared Mookified Ground. So sayeth the Mook. It has been written, so let it be done!