God Versus Nature

So just a bit of disgusting guy humor to chew on for a few minutes. Now I know you all usually come here for up to date serious discussions that I introduce which will inevitably change the world, but I figured I'd lighten things up from my usual all-business-all-the-time posts...

So I had some greasy foods and some fiber loaded foods over the course of a few days. Eventually they came back to haunt me while I was working. Before you ask, no I did NOT soil myself while driving the patrol car. I did however go to a familiar facility that I am comfortable using. It also happened to be a church, an episcopalian one at that, that I lock up and do security checks at. I had a copy of the Sunday paper and took it in with me. 20 minutes and 10 pounds later, I ran out of that bathroom. You know its pretty bad when your own stuff frightens your sense of smell to the very core.



Surely I thought I will burn in hell for having destroyed the facilities. So naturally I asked a female friend. She assured me that "Jesus always forgives." That's nice, but also one opinion from someone who doesn't exactly regularly attend church, and keep up to date on the Sin/Not a Sin list.



So I asked a male coworker. He assured me that "Blowing up a Sh***** in the House of God is one of those unforgivable sins like suicide and that surely you will burn."

So, in order to break the tie I went to my lovely sister for her opinion. I told her the basic story and the answers I received from my two friends. She then informed me most assuredly that "God is an angry God. The New Testament and Jesus love stuff was just to co opt the tenderhearted people into worshipping God. And that you will definitely burn in hell." Again this opinion is from a non churchgoing person....but awfully harsh coming from a new age hippie liberal type. That and she is my sister... she probably relishes the day to find out whether I burn in hell or not, hoping for the former. Lot of love between her and I.


I asked her that if I destroyed an Episcopalian bathroom with all their tender loving God ways being a falsity in the name of the true angry God, that I might get leniency for helping to take down his false church. She said I'd be lucky if that were the case... she's probably still hoping for the hellfire and brimstone option for me.

Then I began to wonder... Angry god or not, he made me and he made the stuff to make the food I ate, and he should've foreseen the problem of the nature of my body reacting to this stuff and known that sooner or later, a church would be bombed out by my #2 stinky business. So ultimately this is God's fault (this is purely satire...don't go getting in a huff over this statement, you religious fanatics!) for making me this way...after all He created me in His image....So maybe I'm just trying to achieve His goal of becoming more like him. Maybe this production of Smoke On The (Holy Toilet) Water, is more of an homage of His greatness? Has God destroyed a few spiritual toilets in an effort to exalt Himself in front of the angels as an All-Powerful God among Gods?

Discuss amongst yourselves, and proffer your opinions.... Was it a Holy Sh*t, or a fast track to Hell?

A Thought On God

This could also be titled, "Man's Thinking On How To Operate With God"

I'm pretty sure more people than just myself have noticed, the bathroom can also be called the Reading Room. Don't worry, that's as graphic as it gets. The current book sitting in the bathroom is titled An Enemy Called Average by John L. Mason. It's basically one of those self help/positivity books written by a christian author. Overall, it serves its purpose, but I noticed in one of the mutliple short chapters covered in this book, a list on how to attain godly wisdom.

Most of them are pretty standard: Please God, Follow his ways, look to Him, Pray, etc etc. But to top the list I noticed something I found contradictorily odd. FEAR GOD!

Many churches I have been in attendance of at one time or another, tell me that God is good, and that all things good come from God. That negative things in our life are a result of our humanness, or influences of Satan. Fear appears to be a pretty big negative thing, and it is something that oftentimes holds us back.
God commanded us to move forward, to take dominion over the earth.

Many issues I have had with the churches, are that many of them are just loaded with certain human oddities, do this, don't do that. If you did what you werent supposed to do, confess to another guy and he can wipe it out for you, but if you dont, somehow you arent as good a member of the church as those who do, and so on and so forth. The basic core message we are taught as kids in Sunday School is that God is good, He is our God, he sent his Son, Jesus Christ to die for our sins, and if we believe that, we're good as gold and looking forward to our trip to Heaven. As we get older, suddenly a whole litany of rules and regulations get introduced to us, through whatever church we attend, and how these are how we should act to be a good christian.

Anyways, I'm rambling... So if God is good, and fear is bad, why would I combine the two? Why should I fear Goodness? If its good, I should like it and embrace it. If its bad I should shun it. At least this is the message I have gotten from multiple sources. Maybe I'm just not understanding things clearly. If I am gripped with fear of goodness, what motivation is this move forward and accept all that God has to offer me? Do good unto others is big teaching, but the whole message of "fear God" now suddenly adds an addendum to this: Do good unto others, ...OR ELSE!

It all seems to be one big mess to me. Do I operate with love in my heart, or fear? Courage or trepidation? Strength or weakness?