So Now That I've Voted...

My part in the 114th election cycle (or is it the 20th or the 847th?) is done.  I would like to point out, that once again I did not see my name on the ballot.  I didn't even vote for myself for any of the offices up for election.

Now some conspiracy theorists might suggest that this is a direct result of the biased Anti-Mook media machine making sure that my name didn't get out to the voting public, as well as airing commercials subliminally hypnotizing me into voting against myself.  Some might say it was Islamic Jihadists trying to suppress freedom and the American Way (Which I clearly represent at all turns), or the Koch brothers spending billions in silencing my voice among the masses of their preferred candidates.

I assure you, that none of these scenarios are the case. Since the voting polls are still open, I will take this time to get out my political message, before going silent on the matter until at least Monday, when the next election cycle punditry shall start with all those talking heads on TV.

I chose to not run for any office this year because in 2016, it will be the first time in my life that I will be eligible to seek the office of the President of the United States of America. 

Soon to be renamed the Mookified Compound

Because of the two year time crunch, I would not want to burden my supporters with the fact that I, as their chosen leader, would be forced to spend all the time I am supposed to be representing them out on the campaign trail.  Also, If I were to end up in an office that the term would over run that time frame, I would not want to disappoint them by leaving my elected position to take over the bigger better opportunity.

So, in the off chance that too many of you numbskulls wrote me in as your candidate of choice, let me be clear.  I am regretfully informing you that I am hereby conceding this year's elections.  It was a non hard fought battle, but I have stepped aside from the path of all my many opponents. the more they wreck shit between now and then, the greater my accomplishments as leader of the free world, and eventually the universe (I'll be more specific on my plans for NASA at a later date) will seem.

"But what about getting some government experience before attempting to ascend to the Presidency?" you say. To this I answer: I will not be labeled a political/Washington insider. The only pork I want to be associated with supporting between now and then will be bacon. And bratwursts- lots of both.

The kind of pork Washington DC needs!

With your help in 2 years, I will see us through a new sense of economic prosperity to include greater investments in business as well as higher wages for many.  A complete change in our foreign policy, and total reform of immigration.  The budgets will be balanced, the national debts drawn down, infrastructure improved and other amazing things that will blow your minds.  I'd put it down in writing, but by keeping it in my head, none of these idiots in Washington that are all about them and their parties taking credit for shit can steal it and destroy the perfection of the idea and screw 90% of the population, or more.

So consider today, the day you elect your representatives for this midterm election, the day I officially announce my candidacy for the next President of the United States.  I'll accept your support in the form of PAC money, or just straight cash in hand. Thank you for not voting for me this time around, and good night my fellow Americans.

Be a freedom loving patriot- Vote Mookie in 2016!

A Little Friday Fun

It's been awhile, and while the muse hasn't struck me, it has struck a certain hygiene product's advertiser...it's a nice play on words with a bit of adult humor BARELY shadowed over!
Enjoy:

Pro Football and Fan Disconnect

So, I'm a huge football fan. I've been watching it as far back as I can remember (no, not just three weeks ago). I started off my football days a San Francisco 49ers fan, probably because that was my dad's team (and most of his family for that matter, except his rogue sister Janet, who has relentless hung onto her Oakland teams), and remain so to this day. From the hayday of the 80s to the lower echelons of hell that my team likes to perform in now.

My view of football has changed in little ways over the years, but fundamentally the game remains my favorite overall. When I was young, for the most part your team remained the same, minus the retiring players, plus the incoming rookies. Free Agency was a newer concept. Now instead of playing for your team and your teammates, it seems that many play for the amount of dollar bills they can get. Sure, some want to, and will remain with their team regardless of other offers, and will retire from the game with the same team that drafted them, wihtout ever being traded off. I have even heard of some players voluntarily taking pay cuts to remain with their team, and/or to allow another player to come into the organization, all to satisfy this salary cap imposed on teams (which I have no problem with). But many these days will haggle over the difference of a couple million dollars over a couple years. Player A wants a contract that gives him $11million over 4 years. The Owner says "we'll give you $8million over 5 years." And somehow, this can be a bone of contention that causes the player to stay away from training camp, preseason practices and all that is involved.

Maybe I'm missing some bigger picture here, but it's $3million dollars difference. Personally, once I've hit the $5million dollar mark in life, I'd be pretty friggin happy for life. Yeah, I know what some of you are saying..."The contracts aren't guaranteed, if he gets hurt he loses out on the rest", or "$3million is a LOT of money."
And you'd be right on both counts. But while your career may be shorter, and you may take a lot of abuse over that time, any player that plays 5 years in general has made way more than your average person will in 40 years. I even understand that Player A saw that Player B for some other team, who isn't even as good as him, got a LOT more money, and he thinks he deserves as much. Whatever happened to the love of the game? I think the league minimum for a drafted rookie is in the $300,000+ range. Hell, I'd play an entire career on that salary if I were blessed with enough size and talent to play at such a level, but that's just me. I just like to play, compete and win. Because in the end, to me, winning is the whole point. Getting to gloat afterwards is of course part of the prize, which I am guilty of to many faults. (ask my wife, sister, pretty much anyone who has ever competed against me in anything)

These days, however, your team looks different, save a few key players, every single year. Your guy switches teams, now what do you do? Root for your favorite player or your favorite team?
And it comes from all sides, to be honest, when it comes to being a loyal fan to your team. The owners jack up ticket prices, vending prices, and everything else, making it harder to go see your team play, if your in or near one of the market cities. You have whiny millionaires who demand being traded, or made their bonuses and quit putting forth an absolute 100% effort every play of every game. And now, the next thing that has hit the big time, that puts fans themselves at fault:

FANTASY FOOTBALL!
You have people now who participate in these leagues (sometimes multiple simultaneously) religiously. I played last year, and it created some disconnect from following my team specifically. Yes, it gave me a sense of control when it comes to managing a team, but I found myself hoping this guy or that guy had a great game, even if they were playing against my team that week. I was no longer following my team, but rather a bunch of individual players that I had at my disposal. (on a personal note: out of 5 guys, I placed last...my guys underperformed when I had them starting, when I switched things up, they suddenly did well...good thing I didnt havemoney riding on it!)

SO this year, I decided to opt out of any fantasy league. Given the poor performance of my team over the last few years (more like 9 years), and the fact that they are on the west coast and I am located in the midwest, I don't see them on tv as much, so I have to follow the team through the box scores in the paper, or highlights on tv. But I have found myself following them a little better this year, despite all that, and the fact that with my current job, it intereferes with my sleep time on the weekends. GRRRRR.
I can only hope that they will again become a cohesive team that can rise out of the proverbial ashes and ascend to greatness once again. Then maybe they'll get more tv play, and then I can justify losing a little sleep to see them play.

Anyways, I'm all over the place with this post, so I'll continue with this directionless rant with a couple more things. Given the differences in the two levels, I have come to prefer the more pure sport of football at the college level over the money grubbers in the pros. A certain local state favorite in college play, the Iowa Hawkeyes, however are threatening to ruin that as well. The advent of the new BigTen Network which now shows there games, and has caused me to not see them on NETWORK TV has pissed me off as well. Why should I pay $40 or whatever it is to get cable, just to watch one channel during football season?

Football used to be a sport, but as with everything else, it is becoming more business than anything. And to me, that is the biggest ruination of the game. But, I shall forever remain a football fan, and shall continue to love my 49ers, even if they suck for the rest of eternity.