Getting Old Sucks

So, I've probably used this title before. But this time I mean it. For real this time. Seriously.

As I may or may not have mentioned before, I had some back pain a couple years ago. Went to the chiropractor, and the x-rays showed a nice interesting twist in my spine. Just one vertebrae in my lower back, was twisted left slightly and tilted. It pinches a nerve from time to time and causes a nice pain that travels along my pelvis and down into my right butt cheek. Pretty much a nice case of sciatica, going right along with that hip that pops in and out of place for most of my life. I'm sure its an even bigger deal than I make of it at any given moment when it hurts, but I just go with it as part of living. Although it did curb my going to the park and playing hardcore basketball and football with kids half my age. Figured I didn't want to ruin the rest of my back while I'm still just in my 30s. Now this hasn't stopped me from participating in some touch football from time to time with people of a variety of ages. I love football way too much to give it up.

A few weeks ago, I was coming back across the street with the dog, at full speed mind you while trying to unhook her leash for the rest of the run back to the house. Not paying full attention sometimes causes something to happen that forces you to pay attention. I slammed the big toe in my right foot directly into the curb and subsequently splatted my body out into the grass. I begin grasping my toe in pain, and realizing I literally split my shoe from its sole in the process. While it's nice to know the dog came back to check on me, I wasn't as amused with the fact that she took advantage of my pain and focus on my toe to start licking my face incessantly. It seems dogs are like mom's in that that think they can kiss the boo-boos away. I outgrew that understanding of pain management years ago. Anyways, that was a couple weeks ago. It is getting better, but there are still some moments of discomfort. I figure it will heal soon enough, and it doesn't really impede me from doing anything I wouldn't normally do.

Last Wednesday, I went outside after supper to play football with my 10 year old, his buddy and a neighbor kid. I had to tackle them, but all they had to do was touch me with two hands, since I am too big for them to tackle. Have to pretend to keep things fair at least. And of course, given my natural abilities and winning ways, I was well on my way to embarrassing them a little bit while I showed up. Then the youngest kid's buddy had to go home, and my 15 year old stepped in for him. Now for those that know my 15 year old, you know he isn't much for organized sports, but on occasion he will step in and play some. He is more into Parkour, bouncing and jumping and climbing whatever he can find. And while he probably isn't competition level yet, he is pretty good at it. I've seen him scale trees like a monkey and negotiate rock faces like a mountain goat. At 6 foot tall and 150 or 160 pounds he's wiry and pretty athletic. So with the boost of his big brother, the 10 year old starts showing a little flare, throwing good spiral passes to his brother who is clearly the tallest person in the yard, and almost as fast as me. One skill he has developed is good agility when it comes to cutting back and forth, to negate my speed and experience. He shook me more than once to get open and catch some well placed throws by his brother.

I was however very impressed by his concentration on one play in general. I played behind Josh (the 15 yr old) and when Corwyn (the 10 yr old) threw the ball to him, I broke in front to intercept or knock the ball down. However it was higher than I anticipated, just going over my fingertips, hitting his hands and going up in the air a bit higher. In the past this would've meant incomplete pass, but the boy made his dad (that's me!) very proud when he snagged it out of the air, and he stiff armed me off wrapping him up and turned up field running it in for a touchdown. In that moment I realized I wasn't the top dog anymore that could stop these kids at will anytime I wanted, only letting them score when I chose to let them. He honest to God outplayed me when I was confident I was going to take the ball (first) and then tackle him with ease (second). I was definitely put in my place on that particular play.

Later, Josh caught a pass in front of me. I had the boy dead to rights. Back when we were kids playing at the infamous Witte's Yard in Sac City, he would've been smeared to the ground. But, instead I was a good dad and decided against spearing him into the sidewalk and possibly the house. So I just wrapped him up, turned him and dropped my weight. I brought him down on top of me, and his bony little elbow hit me with his entire weight right between a couple of ribs. Now I've been speared, landed on, thrown to the ground, in the street, into thorny rose bushes, maybe a tree or two...and sometimes that shit hurt. But I have never felt the sting of getting my ribs bruised before. And here I sit, still sore, super stiff in the mornings when I get up. I'm just waiting the days and days it will take for the dull pain to subside, hoping he didn't actually crack a couple ribs. So far in life I've been pretty lucky that I've not broken any bones, and I'm kind of hoping that streak stays alive. Of course I'm not getting x-rays to confirm one way or the other. I'm just going to live with the pain while it's there and keep going like I do. However, I told the boy in no uncertain terms I am not playing tackle football this Wednesday when they come over for supper again, no matter how nice the weather might be. I MAY play touch, but I am still unsure on even doing that. Depends on how I feel I guess.

What scares me most is that I may have to finally retire from my super long career as a semi-pro football player in the Backyard Football League. I've stretched it to just a little under 30 years now, had my moments that created great on field memories. Not sure I'm ready, as a player and competitor, to let it go just yet and hang up my proverbial cleats, but maturity and old age coupled with increasing weird injuries from what seem like pretty non-violent actions may cause me to move on to operating strictly from a coaching perspective, and the occasional game of catch.  I understand the struggle professional athletes looking down the barrel of retirement go through, even without their kind of money.  Football is a game I've loved and lived most of my life.

But my legacy is my two boys.  When Corwyn focuses, he can be a great thrower and a runner, as well as improving on his pass catching ability. Josh is proving to be quite the all-around athlete in his own right like his uncle Josh Burns, the retired great Backyard Football League player from our younger years, despite his lack of participation in the sports to the degree we did as kids at his age. They both make me quite proud as they grow up, even if they have teamed up to take me out of the game! I guess I can only hope we can do some light play together from time to time. Even if neither ever participate in football on an organized level or a regular basis, I'm always glad I have gotten to play the game with them some and have that bonding time with something other than video games, which I hopelessly suck at! My other hope is that maybe I can eventually get nominated into the Hall of Fame for my backyard football antics, like Josh Burns did.

Disappointing Finish To A Great Season

After a great season for the San Francisco 49ers, it all came down to yesterday's NFC Championship game versus the New York Giants. It'd been almost a decade since the 49ers last saw the playoffs. Last week's exciting see-saw game against the New Orleans Saints, culminating in a last second victory, hopes for this week's game were high.

San Francisco played their usual game: A tough defense complimenting the offense that's done just enough to win games. With the number one run defense in the NFL and a spotty but effective pass defense, most people new this would be a relatively low scoring affair. The offense played it's usual game of a few flashes of brilliance in the big pass plays between Alex Smith and Vernon Davis. The rest was a grind it out offense, using Frank Gore and Kendall Hunter pounding away at the Giants' defense to keep them honest and help open up the passing game.

The Giants also posed a pretty good defensive front, that made relatively few mistakes. And of course their offense was led by Eli Manning and his trio of receivers that tend to step up when called upon. Eli of course possesses the good instincts of a great quarterback, which of course tends to be one of the big reasons the fans of any other team hate him for getting out of a bind, always in the nick of time. That's not to say that he wasn't harassed..a LOT by a bruising 49er rush, but he tended to step out of the way of danger and get the ball where it needed to go to keep the offense going. He had a lot of help from Victor Cruz, who seems to have an invisibility cloak to get that wide open short, medium and deep ranges, over and over and over. Yes the guys really freaking good, but it's not like the 49ers subbed in a pee-wee defensive backfield for the enitre game. How do they not cover him up and make plays on the ball at least 1 out of 4 times, rather than let him get open and catch the ball 5 out of 4 times. Ridiculous!

The difference was made in the realm of turnovers and special teams. Usually the 49ers are known for creating turnovers...last night was an exception. One interception was nullified by a penalty, 2 other would-be-picks were broken up, not by the Giants receivers, but by 49ers safety Dashon Goldson. The first was when he collided and almost knocked out Tarrell Brown while they simultaneously converged on one of Manning's passes. Later on, Carlos Rogers nearly had a pick before being hit by Goldson. Other than stopping the Giants on 4th and short, the 49ers created zero turnovers. And on special teams, lacking Ted Ginn, Jr., a young Kyle Williams was tasked with punt return duties.

As a faithful 49ers fan all my life, I too wanted the young man cut fromt he team, and have his hands and face stomped on. My statements were made out of frustration, but never turned into real credible threats, much less more public ones I've heard have been swirling about. The kid is young, inexperienced, and will learn. On one punt, after the ball bounced erratically, Williams made the mistake of getting in the vicinity of the ball, which hit his knee and was recovered by the Giants at 49er 30 yard line, making short work for Eli Manning to throw his 2nd touchdown pass to put the Giants up 17-14. Yes, many of us football maniacs know that if you let the ball start bouncing around you stay the hell away from the ball. If you aren't going to catch it, you run AWAY from the ball. Let the other team down it, and let your offense worry about moving the ball after that. Had he done so, the next score may have made it 17 or even 21 to 10 in facvor of the 49ers. But a rookie mistake gave a seasoned offensive veteran like Manning what he needed to change the momentum of the game.

We came back and tied the game, forcing overtime to ensue. After stopping the Giants cold for another punt and an opportunity to drive down the field for the winning score, Williams again tried to do too much, and failed to protect the ball. He fumbled on a pretty standard tackle attempt. Coaches all our lives have drilled into us, do NOT hold the ball like a loaf of bread. Protect the points, and in traffic use BOTH hands to hold on. He failed in this, lost the ball, and it was recovered again by the Giants, who went a very short distance before Lawrence Tynes kicked a very easy chip shot of a field goal to win the game.

Yes, it basically came down to the two punt return snafus by Williams, resulting in 10 points for New York, that brought the game into reach, and then ultimately decided the outcome of the game. If you need me, I'll be in mourning until next season. We had a good run this season. It wasn't always as flashy as the days of Joe Montana and Jerry Rice, but it was still good to see a consistent season. Hopefully it's the beginning of a new non-losing era for my beloved 49ers.

Afghanistan: Questioning the Leadership and the Mission

From Jeff Emanuel on RedState.com:
By now, you’ve heard or seen the news: President Obama (D-IL) has accepted the resignation of Gen. Stanley McChrystal, who had until now been in charge of the coalition’s erstwhile efforts in Afghanistan, and is attempting to demote General David [Betray Us] Petraeus from CENTCOM commander to czar of the eastern front of the [Global War on Terror] Isolated Effort to Diplomatically Prevent Man-Caused, Non-Islam-Related Disasters.




And from the blog of my friend, Scott who is also a professor of Political Science at the University of Maine: World in Motion:

The problem is that planners, both civilian and military, can always dream up a plan that on paper looks like it might work. It’s akin to a football coach putting together a plan for a play that should be able to score a winning touch down. If executed right, if the defense plays as we expect, and if there are no other difficulties encountered, then we should score.

And one last quote:
"I am appalled that Obama did not contact Col. B.S. Lovell to replace McChrystal in Afghanistan!" From Eric Stone, to my facebook wall. What President wouldn't pick a face like this to lead a big and important command?

(Note: this message was removed from my facebook wall somehow. Either Eric changed his mind, or facebook has become involved in the anti-Mookist movement gaining hold here in the U.S.)

Let me be the first to tell you that the Colonel has seriously considered putting his name in contention for the Afghan Post. He has relayed to me, that given the general rules of engagement over there aren't much different than here at the Mookist Compound. He gets to see the enemy all day, but unless he is directly attacked, he is given little latitude to operate as a top notch combat fighting machine. He has informed me that despite all this, he has opened up a can of whoop ass on a particular 6 year old in this household more than once. The Colonel estimates, in his own highly self-important position, that fighting a 1000 fully armed Taliban fighters while weaponless himself would be an easier task than living with the little punk.

The Colonel has decided if these guys can do it, he most certainly could handle the job

That information notwithstanding, the Colonel has decided ultimately against the top posting position in The Afghan Theater. He said he really does have a desire to make it on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine himself, and would have no problems with spewing forth his ideas on how wrong the Commander-in-Chief is on certain issues not having military experience or expertise himself, not on the level the Colonel does anyways. He said he would be forced to resign, or end up in Leavenworth after publicly embarrassing President Obama in a hand-to-hand confrontation. He said if the President, acting as his boss or not, even consdiered not doing exactly what teh Colonel tells him to do, this WOULD happen. I believe the exact words were, "The President would most certainly witness my cat-like reflexes." The Colonel seems to think his use of puns is hilarious.

To drive his point home, he gacked up on the carpet right in front of my feet. Then walked off as though nothing had happened. Clearly the sign of the one master strategist who could win any war deemed unwinnable by humans. Cats are a little too pompous if you ask me, but then again he'd reply that he threw up all over my office and left me, The General, to clean it up my damn self. He could be right.

Observations Of Events During Superbowl Weekend

All these events happened during Superbowl weekend, and are in no way in chronological order or in an order of importance.

Buggy decides to choke me out with a dual combination of a scissor lock around my neck from behind while using his hands as leverage to exert some extra pressure on my windpipe. He's learning....air flow as well as blood flow are equally important in taking down your opponent. For this I am a proud father. In addition to open palm slapping a school bus bully earlier int he school year, he is learning other techniques. A little more practice and he'll he getting in trouble at school for picking fights with older kids and winning. I'll have to scold him and explain to him why that is a bad thing, and yet, part of me will be smirking inside knowing I have raised a boy that learns to handle himself physically.

So I play along, and fake death. He checks the eyeballs by lifting the eyelids, and I have rotated the eyeballs downward so he only sees the whites of my eyes. Then he proceeded to surprise me with a move I had no idea he knew anything about. He had gone from killing dad to trying to resuscitate dad. He pulled my head up and tilted it back and with a firm grip on my nose he began to give me mouth to mouth. I stopped this before he gave me a heart stopping blow to this old guy's chest. When I asked him what he was doing, he said he was bringing me back to life by giving me "face to face". After his mom came home from work, and heard this story, she was more than just a little amused at the antics of her youngest boy. I on the other hand, was less than enthused with a slight bit of his spit-laden breathing that had entered my mouth.

Later on Friday night, I had the neighbor from downstairs send up their grandson to ask why we were letting it shower in their kitchen. I was unaware of such phenomenon. So I made a check under the sink, and sure enough there was a pool of water, along with some fissures in the woodwork that allowed some of the water to leak through the floor and down out of their ceiling around the light above their kitchen sink. So, the sink and dishwasher were now off limits. I found a nice sized hole in the u-shaped pipe. So I call the property managers' number. No answer. Well, this doesn't shock me at 830 at night. I leave a message, and then again in the morning call back. I explain to the young ditsy lady in the office that the pipe has a hole in it and it leaks into the downstairs neighbors' apartment. Can she send someone over to fix it?


To that she replies, "Can it wait until Monday?"
I said, "No, I'd rather it be taken care of now. I can't use the sink or the dishwasher, which is a major inconvenience considering I pay for an apartment that comes with fully functional plumbing."

And to this she asks, "Why can't you use the kitchen sink?"
"UH, cuz there's a BIG HOLE IN THE PIPE THAT LEAKS ALL OVER IF ANY WATER FINDS ITS WAY DOWN THE DRAIN and RAINS IN THE NEIGHBORS APARTMENT...and the same if I use the DISHWASHER." I'm generally pretty easy going about whatever, bu when someone who is supposed to serve me asks a dumb question that any third grader would be fully capable of understanding the answer to, since it was already explained...well, Mookie The Sarcastic has a way of coming out.
I hear a disgusted sigh and a half hearted, "I'll see if I can't get anyone over there then.." As if somehow I have inconvenienced her. Well, I ended up waiting until this morning, Monday morning. I spoke with the maintenance guy while he checked it out and took a whole 5 minutes to solve the problem. Apparently there were a lot of issues that surfaced over the weekend that never got taken care of. I have never cared much for this young lady who works in the office. She is more concerned about getting new people in, and doesn't care much for dealing with anyone who has already signed their lease...until its time to renew anyways. She wrote it down, but from what I understand, it never got passed on to any maintenance guys to even look at the issue. Damn near the entire pipe was rusted out, almost along a seam.

There are a lot of aspects I don't like about my job either, but I do them to the same ability I do the other aspects that I do like, because its my F*&$ing job. I don't understand why these young idiots don't get this concept anymore. Guess I'm just too old fashioned in that I actually expect someone does their job the best they can do.

So for the last couple of days my wife has been schooling my oldest, Josh, on how to do dishes by hand, in a plastic tub to wash and one to rinse, and then hand dry and put everything away. I'm sure he has been scarred by such an atrocity of not being able to use an actual dish washing appliance. Even though his mother was doing the washing part for him. But good experience for the boy, as Calvin's Dad would say, "It's good for you and builds character."

Now, onto the Superbowl. Let me first say to all those rooting for Indianapolis to win: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA

Its not so much that I am a Saints fan, but as a 49er fan, I feel an allegiance to the NFC team in the Superbowl as well as the Pro bowl. That is, as long as the NFC team is not the Dallas Cowboys, Green Bay Packers, or any team made to include a certain guy we call Brett Favre. In fact, if Brett Favre we're to ever lead my beloved San Francisco 49ers to the Superbowl, I may come close to rooting against my own team. Okay, maybe not THAT bad, but I would pray for a victory almost solely on the shoulders of others and a career ending injury for the guy who can never seem to just retire and be done with it.

New Orleans was damn near killed off by wind and water a few years back by Hurricane Katrina...I wonder if a fire will erupt and burn the city down in what will be the first Mardi Gras to last at least 2 weeks? Because lets face it....there is almost always a riotous atmosphere and a car or two set ablaze in whichever city wins the Superbowl, almost always. And, New Orleans is really going to celebrate their first ever Superbowl appearance and win right on into Mardi Gras. There will be NO break in the party action. Participants will sleep in shifts to ensure the party never stops. It could be March before its all over.

Now to assess the game. While the total score tally ended up being 48 points, it was definitely a lower scoring game than predicted. And while the 31-17 score was a seeming blowout, it was much closer than that in reality. The 4th quarter pick off my Tracy Porter that was run back for a Touchdown sealed the deal, but up until that point, this was a close game that could've gone either way.

I was not surprised by the gutsy calling of Sean Payton in the first half (or the entire game for that matter) opting to go for it on fourth and goal at the 1 1/2 yd line. The play before I was sadly disappointed in the running back Mike Bell. He went off tackle right, and as he changed direction from lateral to down field towards the goal line, the idiot made a stupid mistake. HE tried to make the cut on his inside foot. I'm no superstar athlete but even I know that cutting on your inside foot always lands you on your ass, and if you don't it was merely because God himself had come down and kept you in a more upright position. Inevitably Bell never was able to plant his cleats into the turf because of this display of shoddy footwork and slipped on his face, with a little extra help from a salivating defender. It was this dumb mistake that forced the 4th and goal play to even come into question. Now, I too would have gone for it on 4th and goal, no doubt. On your opponents 1 1/2 yd line down 10-3? with about 2 minutes left? Oh yeah.
But the play calling itself was amateurish at best. The kind of thing you expect from a first year coach in a JV game at your local school, not Sean Payton who has made his season on gutsy and smart game planning schemes. He stacks two receivers left, and then runs another off tackle right square into a mess of defenders, without any help outside the Offensive line. of course he wasn't going to score. That play was dead before they ever got out of the huddle.

Coach Payton did redeem himself coming out of halftime, with a brilliant and completely unexpected onside kick call, which was recovered by the Saints, and subsequently marched down the field for a touchdown to take their first lead of the game 13-10. Indianapolis, led by future Hall of Fame QB Peyton Manning, engineered a drive to answer New Orleans and regain the lead. Then the game slowed down, in a back and forth manner, with only 1 field goal by the Saints coming prior to the last 5:30 of the game. Then with about 5:30 left in the final quarter, Drew Brees capitalizes on a failed FG attempt by Indy, and marches the ball right down the field for another touchdown, followed up by a controversial 2 pt conversion to put the Saints up 24-17. Indy comes back out, making play after play. Then it happened. Peyton Manning throws out to the outside receiver, and Tracy Porter just cuts in front of the receiver, picks it off and runs it back 73 yards to pound the nails into the coffin that held the Colts' chances of a Superbowl victory. With about 3:30 left in the game it was just too much for even Manning's comeback abilities to overcome. Eventually as the clock winded down Manning threw an incomplete pass on 4th down, giving the Saints the ball and the ability to run the clock out without running a single real play. I saw the first half of the game on TV, and had to listen to the second half on the radio. But through either venue, it was quite an exciting game. The NFC wins and Brett Favre wasn't involved. The boss will be happy, I'm happy with it. It was a good weekend overall, despite having to, as usual, work on Superbowl Sunday.
I LOVE FOOTBALL!

Weekend Football Highlights

This week, the NY Jets edged the San Diego Chargers in the only close game of this week's playoffs, and subsequently was the only road team to get a win. This was partially due to a very aggressive Jets Defense, along with some good solid play late in the game on the offensive side of the ball, including a 53 yard TD run by the rookie out of Iowa, Shonn Greene. It didn't help San Diego that their star kicker, former Iowa Hawkeye, Nate Kaeding blew 3 field goal attempts over the course of the game. That's unheard of from such a great kicker like him.

The Indianapolis Colts simply outplayed the Baltimore Ravens. The New Orleans Saints just blasted the Arizona Cardinals 45-14, and after one really vicious hit, has Kurt Warner seriously thinking about retiring from the NFL before he gets killed.

Then you had the Minnesota Vikings and Brett Favre sealing the Dallas Cowboys fate of missing yet another Super Bowl. This game had my interest more than any of the others. Not that I'm a fan of either team. First I loathe the Dallas Cowboys with a passion you can't even comprehend. Then on the other side is Brett Favre... who I have loathed with the same ferocity, ever since his days with Green Bay. His 2 consecutive retirements and unretirements left me even less impressed with the guy.

However, I find myself today in the difficult position of having to defend Favre and The Minnesota Vikings team (the difficulty is in having to defend Favre, not the Vikings).

As time was winding down, and the Vikings held a more than comfortable 27-3 lead over the Cowboys, Dallas gave up the ball on downs in their own territory. A couple plays later, Favre throws his 4th touchdown pass of the game with just 1:55 remaining in the game.

This stoked some emotion from Cowboys linebacker Keith Brooking, who called the move "classless", and Coach Wade Phillips accused the Vikings of running up the score.

"I thought it was classless," Brooking said. "I thought it was B.S. Granted, we get paid to stop them, but we had zero timeouts left. I didn't think there was any call for that."

I believe part one of his second sentence here pretty much sums up the problem. The Dallas defense is paid to stop the scoring. And not just paid, but paid far better for a single game than I'll make in a year. If you can't do it, quit whining. Suck it up and be a man. Besides that, the Cowboys whipped up on Philadelphia in the last game of the regular season and again last week in the first round of playoffs. No one was complaining then of a running up of the scores.

Ever since we were little, those of us who played football in school were told to play every play until the whistle blows, and every game until the last second has ticked off the clock at the end of the fourth quarter. The only way an offense scores is if the defense lets them. Dallas chose to let Minnesota into the end zone repeatedly. It isn't the Vikings fault for playing with the kind of intensity they are supposed to play with. And for Favre (I can't believe I'm touting him here..someone shoot me!), at the age of 40, throwing 4 TDs against a supposedly good team? That's just plain friggin incredible. The way the Vikings played yesterday showed that they deserve to be in the NFC Championship game next week. Dallas on the other hand, is just putting pressure on owner Jerry Jones to fire yet another head coach who couldn't get him to the Big Game.

Of course none of this should surprise me, the Dallas Cowboys always were a bunch of whiners. Not that Favre isn't a whiner as well, just not this week.

Hawkeye Coach Kirk Ferentz Challenges Media Conspiracy

The Iowa Hawkeye football program is 9-0 this year, and currently holder of the second longest current winning streak in college football. Second only to the ever-popular Florida Gators. Slowly but surely, the Hawks have crept from obscurity to the #4 spot in the BCS rankings. The fan polls from last week, courtesy of ESPN, had them ranked 2nd. All the sportswriter polls had them ranked much lower. Sports commentators constantly speak of the luck Iowa is having in their victories. Other teams, engineering comeback drives, are being credit for their tenacity and persistence in a "strong showing" of why they are winners. Sure, Iowa has had to put together a lot of come from behind wins late in the game, more often than not this season.

Some critics have a few reasons for Iowa not getting the respect they deserve. Some say Iowa hasn't had a strong schedule. To that I say consider this: The Big Ten has more teams in the Top 25 BCS rankings than either the SEC or the Big 12, and as many as the Pac-10 conferences. The Big Ten is, and always has been, one of the most competitive conferences in division 1 football. Take the likes of Ohio State and Michigan, who despite any adveristy, are always tough teams to play for any opponent, and always stand a chance to take the BCS rankings by storm on any given year. Penn State, led by the coaching legend Joe Paterno, have joined them as Big-10 representatives for the BCS. Ranked #3 in the country earlier this year, they found themselves trampled by an explosive Iowa team.

Nonetheless, those "sports gods" we call professional commentators, no matter the network they represent, still play the popularity game. The SEC (think Florida, LSU and Alabama), the PAC-10 (USC and Oregon), the Big East (West Virginia and Cincinnati), the ACC (Miami and Virginia Tech), and the Big-12 (Texas and Oklahoma) always get automatic hype and all the love in the world for being the premier conferences with the best teams week in and week out. Not to take away from these teams and their records, many years, even with losses, they wil outrank other teams with perfect records. Take for instance, Boise State and Utah. The last few years they have put together phenomenal records. Even in their perfect seasons they were snubbed by BCS officials when it came time to talk Championship Games. All because they weren't affiliated with one of the "big 6" premier conferences. And in their sub-Bowl games, they embarassed their opponents from these supposed good conferences.

Back to Iowa. In the past they held the wrap from critics of not being a second half or 4th quarter team, and blowing leads they built in the first half to lose the game in the end. It seems Coach Ferentz gave them the pep talk to correct this. Only problem is, while playing great 2nd halfs, they forgot to include the first half as well. Once they solve this problem and decide to play quality football all 4 quarters, they will be one of THE teams in the nation to beat.

However, the media still has to overcome their preconceived notions. When it comes to Iowa, it is always described as more of a Cinderella season, the exception as opposed to the rule. Nothing short of a couple consecutive BCS championship game appearances, and/or victories will change this in their eyes. Many commentators as I mentioned call Iowa "lucky" with their comeback victories. Others say they aren't showing much for style. In the end, while I love a flashy game with lots of highlights, the mark in the WIN category is all that matters. It doesn't matter if the victory is by 1 point or 100, a win is a win. Iowa and their coach understand this. That being said, I think Coach Ferentz and the Hawkeyes, have specifically engineered a response. It may be subtle, and only certain sports fans with a greater understanding of the game of footbal itself can spot it.

Take these 3 instances:
Against Division II opponents Northern Iowa: UNI has to kick just one field goal to win the game over the Hawkeyes. The Hawks block the field goal attempt, but commit a penalty giving UNI one more chance. The Hawks dial it up and block a SECOND attempt. 2 Blocked field goals in a row to secure a victory???? If that isn't a stylish defense
In Iowa's 28 point 4th quarter against the Indiana Hoosiers, after throwing 5 interceptions (4 of them in the 3rd quarter alone), QB Ricky Stanzi throws back to back TD passes, one for 92 yards the following for 66 yds. Two plays (including one of these touchdown throws- #10, the other an 86 yd pinballed interception return for a touchdown- #1) made it into ESPN's Top Ten plays from Saturday. There's some style for you.
The week before, Stanzi throws a winning touchdown pass as time expires to beat Michigan State. any game that comes down to the last play is a good game, and being a necessary touchdown instead of a field goal, is only more exciting and a display of those "Style" points everyone wants shown.

Calling Iowa's playing style "ugly" may be partially true. But I think Ferentz is cooking up his own conspiracy to counter that of the media's. Screw around for 30-45 minutes, maybe score a a few points, but play half speed, rest up for the second half. Fumble the ball or throw an interception deep in your own territory. Then, show the other team your defense owns them anytime and anywhere. Let them have their field goals. We'll answer with a show of what touchdowns from a lot further away are all about. Wait awhile, then show the media, it isn't about ugly play, but giving the team some hopes and dreams of winning, and then using some style and flare to crush those dreams without mercy at the end. Iowa's opponents go from pure excitement to EPIC FAILURE!

And to answer the charge that the SEC is the conference. The last 4 bowl games Iowa played against an SEC team, Iowa won 3 of them. The hawks are guaranteed a bowl game this year. Just which one it is, is still up for debate. Ferentz isn't looking into his Bag o' Lucky, but his Bag o' Style this year, in hopes that sooner or later those yahoos from ESPN and everywhere else will realize that Iowa is for real. And in a national championship game, if not the victor, Iowa isnt a team that would lay down for any of these "powerhouses" they might face.

Halloween Weekend- The good and the bad

So this Halloween brought a mixture of good and bad in a variety of areas. So, let's take a look at them.

College Football

Good: The Iowa Hawkeyes made an amazing comeback in the 4th quarter to win and maintain their perfect season, allowing them to stay at #4 in the BCS ratings

Bad: Oklahoma State couldn't take down the powerful Texas program, that would've allowed Iowa to move up, and whittle down potential national championship pairings.


NFL

Good: The Green Bay Packers lost (I've hated the team for years!)
Bad: Brett Favre won (I've hated him just as much as the Packers, his old team, for years)

Good: My 49ers broke Peyton Manning's streak of games in which he throws a touchdown pass
Bad: Indy still won, because their RUNNING BACK threw the go ahead/winning touchdown pass.

Work

Bad: I had to work a 12 hour shift. A 12 hour shift that was actually 13 hours long, because of the time changing back to standard time. I only get paid for 12.

Good: I didn't have a single disturbance or alarm to screw up my night the entire time, so it was a peaceful shift.

Trick-or-treating

Good: Kids went out for candy here on Friday night, and Sac City at my folks on Saturday night. I reap the rewards without the work, two times! Josh went as Darth Vader, Buggy as Storm Shadow from G.I. Joe (not sure about the kung fu grip on this occasion!)

Bad: No one around to amuse me on Saturday or Sunday. Realization that for the best treat-fare, I have to get access to the small town, and not just down the street.

Friends' Adoption Fundraising

Good: They raised some good cash towards their goal, along with help from friends and family. See here for more information on how that went.

Bad: No one showed up with an extra $5-10,000 to boost their efforts over the top. Oh well.

Giving Brett the Finger and other observations...

Give Brett the Finger I thought, because of my hatred being openly expressed for Brett Favre, that this google ad on my page was really good, and inline with my thought process, then I read the rest of the little box:

Tell Brett what you think of him! Get a #4 Finger Decal or Cap today

Not quite what I was looking for. I might tell him how he's number 1 and all, but not with the same finger they are marketing.

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You show them, you tell them, then you demonstrate it against them, and they still don't get it. Is football really THAT hard to understand? I mean, we're not talking about breaking down the intricacies of the game on an NFL level, or even getting them to understand how to control the game on a Playstation 3. First off, as much as I know about football, the NFL is a bit ahead of my curve, and a playstation has way too many buttons for me to figure it all out...I just pick a play or two and stick with a couple buttons. I consider that an achievement of a guy who grew up with the one button-one joystick Atari era.

What we're talking about is simple backyard, neighborhood football games. The same game I learned to play in the 80's (yeah, i'm that old). I'm playing kids that are high school age, who are smart enough to operate these new-fangled video game systems in their sleep (I'm not), are in shape (I'm not), and can run, throw and catch (which I can do the last 2 out of those 3). And yet, I can take just about anybody and beat an opposing team out in the yard.

I'm not that good of a player, I just know the game, but most of my teammattes aren't anywhere near that level of knowledge. So I play with a bunch of kids, even when I have the teenagers, who understand at best the concept of football. And here I am, a 30 year old guy staring very near the peak of that proverbial hill I'm supposed to be going over sometime in the future, who is out of shape (I mention it again because of how badly that condition is for me), and yet I embarass these kids everytime we play.

The other day, I used my 5 year old. On offense, it was easy...just give Buggy the ball. And while I did a little bit of blocking, Buggy made easy work out of a couple of kids twice his size and twice his age....especially after I pointed out to him NOT to run backwards, but towards the endzone. On defense, it got to the point where I showed the other side a play to run, and LET them run it, just so they would score...

I hate to embarrass the kids, but at the same time I'd like SOME competition. I don't know if I've just aged with the kids who actually take an interest in and try at football, or if its just a city kid thing where kids are interested in basketball and soccer, or "just hanging out" as their main ideas of how to occupy their time. And of course, I love how kids complain how bored they are, but any ideas of what to do are met with the constant phrase "Naw, I don't feel like doing that."

Now to be fair, I'm sure my parents could say the same thing about me back then, but it was usually when there was NOONE to play with. That and their idea of me cleaning my room "to ease my boredom' doesn't exactly fly as a legitimate suggestion.

Growing up in Sac City, we had two things going for us. A ravine, and Witte's yard. The ravine was for exploring, mapping out, and playing war or building a fort. But Witte's Yard...that was football central, and in our neighborhood it was the equivalent of Soldier Field. Hallowed grounds to be sure. Rain, Snow, Sunshine, Cold or Hot, we'd play, because it didn't matter to us when we had a group of us together. We just played..by the rules, and hard. It was all about winning, and effort and all that other crap a coach would say while giving you a pre-game or halftime speech.

It didn't matter if there was only 4 of us, or 20 of us...GAME ON!! And of course I was always out to try to show up my buddy Jay's older brother with my impressive skills, right up until he decided to show me he had moved on and learned even more to continue beating up on me on the gridiron. But now, he too is old like me, and I think that I can take him now...Josh is all broken. For reasons why see this video

49er Mini-Sports Update

The new weekly (kind of) sports forum on the San Francisco 49ers, as determined by Mook continues yet again.

Well, hurrah, hurrah, THIS week, the 49ers did NOT lose. One big reason for this absence of a loss...they had a bye week, and you can't lose if you don't play. I got an update from the Official 49ers fan page over on the old Facebook side of things, which gives me the opportunity to ask a player anything. This week they are offering up a sacrificial lamb in the form of a defensive back. LAST week, against the Atlanta Falcons, the San Francisco defense gave up over 40 points. It was a truly pathetic effort. I have decided to refrain from asking this hapless defender just what the hell happened for one main reason: I already know how the question will get answered.

It will come in one of three different formats:
1. "We were simply outplayed by an outstanding offensive machine."
2. "We mentally lost focus after a few quick scores by the Falcons, and our offense wasn't able to bail us out this week."
...or my personal opinion, and favorite option...
3. "We didn't bother to show up for the game."

I can only imagine. The week before the 49ers demoralize a horrible St Louis Rams team with a 35-0 shutout. This isn't new for the Rams, but holding a team scoreless is something the 49ers haven't done in quite a long time. It's my assumption that despite this last week's game being played IN San Francisco, the players were unable to show up. They were still either partying or hungover from a weeklong celebration after defeating their division opponent, the Rams, in a shutout, giving them a clean sweep over division foes.

All week long, Coach Mike Singletary has been forced to use stunt doubles in practice, and eventually the game in an effort to not completely forfeit the game altogether. A call went out to specific athletes in area junior coleges, and to outstanding high school athletes, who at least could pull off resembling the 49ers actual players. Hey, fora small sum of cash under the table, and a free authentic NFL jersey, who wouldn't take up such an offer. I know I would, under total disillusionment that it would somehow lead to me being given a shot at making the actual roster. I do have mean skills when it comes to backyard football. Why wouldn't it translate over? I'll go across the middle and get killed by a real NFL linebacker, for nothing more than the official stats and to say I did it.

I surmise that the few 49ers scores against Atlanta came on pure fluke. The fake players made a few nice moves, showcasing the possibility of future talent to be used, along with the fact that the few key Falcon players who were to stop them fell over with laughter as they realized who was actually playing them.

So, after this weeks play, the Rams continue their abysmal season by losing again and going to 0-6. The Arizona Cardinals defeated the Seattle Seahawks easily, moving them even with the 49ers. Luckily so far, having beaten the Cardinals, the tie goes to the 49ers. However in December the 49ers will go against the Cards and Seahawks again, so we'll see how that goes as the season develops for each team.

And a personal note to Coach Singletary...I am still open to playing for even less than the league minimum, even if it means I'll be laid up in full body casts for months on end. I'm just saying...

in an unrelated note..a google ad on my page advertises to give Brett the finger. They're talking about Brett Favre, who I'd LOVE to give the finger. However it turns out its advertising fan regalia, like the foam fingers and things of that nature. And here I thought I would be allowed a chance to win a trip to go flip Brett the bird.

Did I mention that I hate Brett Favre?

Oh, Sunday was a day of a very good high, and an even lower low. This past weekend, my beloved San Francisco 49ers visited the Minnesota Vikings for a showdown of unbeatens. During the season, week in and week out, here in Iowa, I can pretty much count on seeing a Vikings' game on netowrk television. Of course the one week, in which my team actually shows up to Minnesota, network tv will NOT cover the Vikings.

We were forced to see either the routing of the Chiefs by Philadelphia, followed by a Denver/Oakland Game, or we could watch the Rams get smacked down by Green Bay. Obviously the networks weren't too excited about the Detroit Lions game being televised, although they did pull out a win over the Washington Redskins for their first victory in about 21 months with a score of 19-14. Ironically, the two untelevised games being played in the Midwest were the only two games that could be considered competitive. So, my following of the SanFran-Minnesota game was by watching the score updates in the upper right hand corner of the screen. I kept seeing a back and forth game all afternoon. But then I saw the update that showed the 49ers up by 4 points with 1:41 to go in the game. At 0:41 left, I saw the same score, and again at 0:14. I was convinced that me not being able to watch the 49ers playing on tv would be alleviated by them beating down the Vikings, along with the 4th quarter comeback quarterback, Mr FAVRAY himself. Then it happened, the update comes around again...with :02 left on the clock, Minnesota had scored a touchdown, from 33 yards out. I didn't really think I had a heart, until it broke at that very moment. And I'm sure one certain Professor Scott from Maine, one of those silly Vikings' fans, will have something to say in the comments section once he reads this...

It's not like I had any illusions of my 49ers having a perfect season (that would take an even greater miracle than was the Lions having a perfectly winless season last year). But I really wanted the Indecisive One, also known as Brett Favre, be dealt his first loss with Minnesota, while simultaneously securing the 49ers the top spot in their division. I can however thank the Chicago Bears and Indianapolis Colts for beating Seattle and Arizona, respectively, and making the division standings in my favor.

I can only hope that Coach Singletary drills it through the heads of the defensive backs that even a friggin 5 inch margin in the very back of the end zone is way too much room to be giving up, especially with an old codger like Favre that apparently still has enough talent to pull those kinds of stunts off. (On a scale of 1-100, my HATE-Favre-ometer clocked in at a whopping 134.6) Not to mention the incredible acrobatics of the Vikings wideout, Greg Lewis, to not only make a fingertip catch and drag the second foot barely inbounds.

Although, there were a couple good signs shown in this game. The star running back, Frank Gore, left the game with an ankle injury. The 49ers adjusted, and still, with the exception of the last play, just simply outplayed the Vikings, without the "main threat". QB Shaun Hill and TE Vernon Davis hooked up for 2 touchdowns. With Davis showing he is in fact a tough receiver who can be a playmaker, it will open up the wideouts for more plays throughout the season. I just hope that when Gore is out, and Coffee is in for him, that he is a good enough runner to keep the passing game an open and viable threat, to maintain a potent offense that few of us 49er fans remember from the good old days.

From Lil Sis to Big Mama!

Yep, I'm officially an uncle to a blood relative. Not that I don't count all my pseudo nieces and nephews (kids of very close friends who refer to me as Uncle Mikey), but this is a bit different. I'm genetically linked to this newest member of the family. My sister Becky gave birth (sort of) to Sophia Elizabeth Alvarez on Sunday, September 20th, 2009.


Here is the new mommy and daughter. After a C-section birth (more on that to come) Mommy is all smiles. Clearly the result of legal drugs pumping through her system. After long hours of exhaustion, hard work, and then followed up by a surgery to retrieve this kid, a sober mom would look much more haggard. Way to go mommy! First moments with the child and she will be told about how her mom was high as a kite from the get go!


And here is a photo of the entire new Alvarez family. Lil Sophia, not looking all that pleased at the moment. Vic, all dressed up in a hospital provided sterile trash bag garment. And of course Becky still looped.

Becky of course has always been my little sister. Or, if you ask anyone else, I'm her brother...because God forbid I was ever given my own identity. Growing up, dad worked full time and mom worked a lot of part time jobs. So, a lot of days when mom either left for work, or just needed some rest from working the night before, Becky was forced to hang out with me and my friends. She was a blessing and a burden all at the same time. First thoughts were always along the lines of "Why do I have to drag her along when I want to play with my friends?" Oddly enough, I do this with my two sons now. Apparently parenting techniques are genetic and not a learned response, because growing up I was going to be a much better parent than my mom and dad were to us. As I get older, my wife occasionally refers to me by my dad's name. Somewhere in her odd little mind, she sees me turning into him, and does not hesitate to get her digs in whenever she can. Anyways...

Well, growing up in my neighborhood, you played football. That's how it was. The Neighborhood Football League was a staple amongst us boys. Beating each other up
mercilessly in the name of a sport was a requirement. On occasion, some of the kids would be gone for some reason or another, and there wasn't enough kids to play during a day. However that didn't stop my buddy Jay and I from co-opting his little brother and my sister from playing football with us. Of course when I say football, it was more like a game of smear-the-queer. And while we would run around having fun, it was usually at Becky's expense. We would "fumble" the football in her direction and had her convinced she needed to pick it up and run. (here's the blessing part of her hanging out with us) Of course, boys being boys, we commenced to tackling her just as hard as we would anyone else. Even though she threw the football away in sheer terror, she didn't realize we had a penchant for unsportsmanlike conduct of unnecessary roughness, 15 yard penalties be damned! She took it all in stride, mostly. The only time she tattled was the time I damn near broke her neck. It really was one of the biggest and best hits I ever delivered in my sports career!

I believe it was through this hardcore intensive training that I, as her big brother (and required to teach her about the hard knocks of life so that she might be able to survive the reality of life after living with Mom and Dad- excerpted from page 47 of the Big Brother Handbook) nurtured her into having a baby via C-section. The main lesson being: "If you drop the ball, you will still be punished. So make it worth it and hang on!" We boys all learned this lesson playing on the hallowed ground of the legendary Neighborhood Football League venue, Witte's Yard.

It took another 20some years for this big brother to be proud that she had learned this lesson. Late in the Pregnancy Bowl (Sponsored by Clear Blue Easy Digital Pregnancy Tests, and Doritos New Pistachio Flavored nacho chips), Becky had taken the ball and driven to the end zone in hopes of ending this game with a winning score. After making it all the way across the goal line in the biggest drive of her career as the last seconds ticked off the clock, she forgot the rules. (Luckily for her, time had expired and the penalty was after the play. Otherwise Team Fruit Salad might have gotten another chance to drive this game into overtime, with great field position after the kickoff.)
Instead of flipping the ball to the referee and joining the rest of the team for the victory celebration, she just wouldn't let go. It took a team of doctors to drug her up and TAKE the ball (baby) from her.

The official analysis, provided by the great team at ESPN 8 (The Ocho), was that she had tucked the ball (baby) so far into her gut, to avoid fumbling after any contact, that the ball (baby)had gotten stuck and lodged in behind her hip a bit. So instead of being able to flip the ball (still the metaphor for baby)away at the end of the play, they literally had to go in and retrieve the ball(yes, the baby..how many times do I need to clarify this?)

So after years of telling (yelling at) Becky: DON'T FUMBLE THE BALL!, we realized she took us a little too literally. How many times do I have to tell you, little sister, life isn't all about football?...sheesh, crack open a book or two on applied reasoning. DORK!

Now of course Becky is all grown up and and about to discover the world of motherhood as we welcome into the world Sophia, 21 inches long and weighing in as a featherweight at 6lbs 10 3/4 ozs. So she's tall, thin, and got one hell of a hair do already. Daddy, aka Vic is, quoted as saying, "She, of course, is cute as hell and we have already fallen in love." I can tell by these words he is definitely talking about his new daughter. I know his wife, so he couldn't have meant any of those words about my sister! (Just kidding Becky)

And now I, Uncle Mikey, have a lot of catching up to do. I have to retain the position of "Cool Uncle", and of course down the road, agree with Sophie's statements of mom and dad being such a drag. And of course inform her that her mother was a druggie when she was born, which explains why mom is such a nutcase now. And, that boys are evil, cootie-carrying dirtbags, who she needs to avoid until she's at least 30. I'm sure her dad will back that last statement up wholeheartedly.

Either way, it will be an interesting journey for all 3 of them. Good luck to the new mom and dad. You thought you've been worn out and tired before, but you haven't seen anything yet. I'll pray for you to get past the stage of New Parent Insanity, to the point where life is a bit more fun and Sophie can do more things to both frustrate and amuse you, often simultaneously.

To All My Friends Who Are Bears Fans...Sorry?

To all my friends who like the Chicago Bears...sorry, but I have to write this down.

Your team went and got rid of Rex Grossman. Probably the smartest thing the organization could have ever done in their history. The boy, while great at the college level, just never matured to the point of being a great Pro quarterback.

The year that the Bears managed to get to the Superbowl was purely on the backs of a stellar defensive squad. In fact, during the NFC Championship game that year, it was the efforts of the defense that managed to win the game against the New Orleans Saints. And it wasn't enough to win the SuperBowl. The only thing consistent about Grossman's playing was its inconsistency. One half, or one game he'd be great, and then as quickly as the next game he'd put on one of the most mediocre performances ever.

Now you have Jay Cutler. The Green Bay defense hassled him all the first half and he threw 3 interceptions, and they only scored a measly safety for 2 points, thanks to their stellar defensive efforts. Then, in the 2nd half, he showed more poise, completing more passes and avoiding turnovers. He managed to throw a touchdown pass to Devin Hester to make it a competitive game. Brian Urlacher and a couple other defensemen were out of the game due to injuries at this point, and Green Bay's Aaron Rogers took full advantage of this, running a slightly smoother offense and allowing them to win the game. Green Bay's defense kept up and managed to cause Cutler to go back to his uncertainty in the first half mode.

Now, many of you know I'm an avid 49ers fan. And it's been a few years since I've really been able to follow football with my work schedule. so you're asking yourself, "how in the world could Mookie even know what the heck he's talking about?" A- I'm a football nut, who knows a lot about the sport, and B- its mostly common sense.

We 49er fans were spoiled with the combination of Joe Montana and Steve Young over the years. Two of the leagues most prolific quarterbacks over the history of the NFL. And since Steve Young's departure, we have had a litany of QB's come and go, and none of them were really worth a damn. We kept bringing in promising defensive backs, who by the time we trained them up to a level considered more than adequate, we'd trade them to teams who would then beat us with great secondary players we'd developed for them. It's pretty bad to go from being a football dynasty to the farm team for the league we have been for almost a decade now. Part of it was coaching. Most coaches came to San Francisco thinking they could ride the wave of greatness, only to lose a lot of the old team members wo helped make the 49ers a great team. And those coaches weren't good enough to produce the same greatness out of a bunch of 'nobodies.' Luckily for us, Mike Singletary, the legendary Bears defensive player from the 80s is our new coach. He is a no nonsense, high caliber personality when it comes to performing in games and his expectations of players. He isn't going to put up with prima donnas, and allow that kind of drama to take away from our efforts to field a competitive team, so hopefully, our win over the defending NFC Champs, the Arizona Cardinals, will be a sign of whats to come. Albeit, we'd like more than 30 yards rushing per game out of Frank Gore.

So now, the Bears, while they basically have the defense down pretty well, really need to learn to put together an offense to boot. And that starts with the quarterback. Trading for QB's who came from teams with an odd assortment of palymakers to help him, isn't going to be the answer. Otherwise, you'll just end up seeing the repeat of Rex Grossman, over and over and over.

Which brings me to Bret Favre (I pronounce it FAV-RAY because that's how its spelled dammit!) Favre is a great quarterback, no doubt about it. All this retiring and unretiring has dominated the sports news the past couple of years. And it really is tiring to listen too. I've never liked Favre, and part of that is that his Packers kept beating up my 49ers, and I've never been a Packers fan anyways (I lump this hatred as being equal to that of my hatred for the Dallas Cowboys- is there a rule that both can lose the game when playing each other?). The one thing Bret had to add to his great performances were playmakers for running backs and receivers. And he has good leadership qualities about him, to help them out in return. He will be a Hall of Famer, no doubt about it. When he went to the Jets, though, their offense was pretty much all about Favre. His supporting cast wasn't strong enough to get him anywhere significant.
Now he is with the Vikings. They looked okay on Sunday. Running back Adrian Peterson was clearly the star of that game however, and made Favre's efforts and leadership seem that more imposing. It could be that Favre has added his experience to improve the Vikings, or the skill of enough Viking players that will add to Favre's status. Either way, they should have a decent team. Far better than the Bears season is looking, if Week 1 was any indicator. The NFC North Division will be between Green Bay and Minnesota, with the Bears and Lions competing for 3rd place in the division.

A bit on Announcers

I think that John Madden, ever in love with Bret Favre, should be forced to unretire himself since Favre did. Their careers with the football world should (if they weren't to a degree already) be inextricably linked. That way we can here drooling commentary from Madden, over Favre's play, abilities, talents, liekability, etc. Also, more teleprompter drawings accompanying "BOOM, and BAM" (John Madden is the audio equivalent of the old Batman flare words), and other exclamation being used while pointing out generally obvious things to anyone who actually knows anything about football.

And if he wasn't so old, and set in his ways, I'd love to see Mr. Whoa Nellie himself, Keith Jackson, back on the announcing scoop. In my mind he is the best sports commentator ever. Not too much chit-chat during the lulls of the game, and he had a way of really ratcheting up the history and importance of certain games, venues, rivalries, along with the right amount of excitement when necessary. He is truly missed by the old school true fans of sports, not unlike myself. His style is a lost art. He coined University of Michigan's stadium "The Big House", and most viewers of college football knew that if Keith Jackson was announcing the game, it was the big game for that week. You know, back when all the network television stations actually showed you games from all around the country. Then Cable stations stole Americans right to watch all those football games and left them with dumb games like Notre Dame Vs anybody. Ahh, the era of good days gone by...kind of like the Bears Football program.

Maybe My (Sports) Fatherly Wisdom Will Be Accepted

Yesterday was a good day. After church, I came home and was able to settle into the couch for Week 1 of the NFL regular season. I havent truly been able to watch and follow football for a few years now with my work schedule. But as of late I have been getting weekends off, and can now enjoy it. Week 2 will be somewhat off my radar as I have to cover another guys shift, but Week 3 I should be right back on track.

The first set of games was just randomness to me, as it is early in the season. I noticed that the New Orleans Saints (my boss' favorite team) trounced the Detroit Lions. He'll probably return from his vacation and brag about that. And I will laugh as anyone who brags about beating Detroit is scraping the very bottoms of the barrel. I think the local kids I play backyard football with, under my direction of course, would have a good shot at beating Detroit. I figure the 12 year old neighbor girl, who is a monster at times, would have sacked Stafford at least 3 or 4 times on her own. And my son Josh would have picked apart their defense with the short passing game. He still needs to learn focus and accuracy to a point, but he has a surprising arm for being built like a stick figure(just like I was at his age). My other son, Corwyn "Buggy" Lovell, would have just ran all over them. And then, right after scoring would have found the nearest defender and said to him "You remember when I ran for the touchdown and beat you guys?" Somedays I wonder if he has a true concept of time.

The second set of games provided more interest to me. There were three options on Fox. The first was the Washington Redskins AT New York to face the Giants. Then there was somebody or another AT Seattle. And then my beloved (although a decades worth of disappointment) 49ers taking on the Arizona Cardinals in Arizona. This is regionally the closest game to Iowa, but instead of getting to watch THAT game, I had to endure the WASH-NY game. However, it was finished earlier than the SF-AZ game, and FOX is now offering bonus coverage, so I got to see the last 6 minutes of my team playing. Right after I tuned in, I watched my 49ers score a touchdown and go up 20-16 over Arizona and their Iowa born QB, Kurt Warner. I look over and my youngest is sitting there watching it with me. He asks who is who, and who's winning. I explained that, three times. I swear, having a conversation with a 5 yar old can be exhausting at times. But he caught on, as I explained what needed to happen throughout the rest of the game. He seemed almost as excited as I was.

I was about his age when I first started watching football and cheering on the San Francisco 49ers. Back then, the 49ers were an emerging force that went on to become a major powerhouse in the NFL. They have sucked since my first son was born. But not completely. They would win just enough games to ensure that they would not get a first draft pick of the next season. They would find their way into the middle of the pack, barely. But, yesterday was a good day. My youngest watched as the 49ers put on a defensive display to stifle the defending NFC Champs and their potential high octane offense led by Kurt Warner, and securing the win. I even got a high five out of the deal as "we won." Maybe, just maybe, I will be able to continue to course of modern human history in which fathers and sons hang out together watching football games on Sundays. And it will be good. WE'll have drinks and snacks, and I'll teach them the fine arts that football invovles, and maybe someday in the future, they will get their opportunity to play organized tackle football, instead of playing the watered down, weak version of backyard football that kids play these days.

After the game was over, we ate supper, and then took the football over to the park to throw it around some. We used a smaller ball so Corwyn could handle it. Both boys are showing promise of having cannons for arms. I'm quite enamored with such an idea, as a sportsdad-like kind of guy. (We played backyard football the other day, and both boys were picking up on tips I gave them to out-maneuver otherwise better athletes than they were.) We tossed the ball around and played at the park until it was too dark to play anymore. I settled in for the Bears-Packers Sunday night game later in the first half. Corwyn was playing and then had to take a bath. Josh comes over to the couch and sits down. Starts asking me who's who and who's playing. He even got to watch the bears sack the Green Bay quarterback in the endzone for a safety, a rare scoring opportunity. Is this deja vu I'm experiencing? This is GREEEAAT! Both sons taking an interest in the manly art of football? That's just plain friggin awesome.

My wife, after reading this, will probably begin to tremble with a hint of fear and look to putting psychologists' phone numbers on speed dial. I tamed down a bit after my oldest looked not to be the athlete his father had hoped for (although recent events point to my oldest still looking to be that athlete afterall), with my Sports Dad Syndrome (SDS). But who knows, with hope of athleticism abounding within my sons, it may come roaring back! Should the boys ever play competitive sports in school, my wife will probably see to it that I'm banned from fraternizing with the coaches and from standing on the sidelines during practices and games. And becoming a coach will probably be out of the question. I'm really, REALLY competitive, and that can be a good thing, but if carried too far, I might have kids and parents looking at me sideways. I'm all about winning, giving kids their fair time and all, but none of this "everybody's a winner, we don't keep score" crap. My sons will probably not be allowed to ever play in a league like that....uh-oh, SDS is creeping back in...I better go get the kids out of school and hold football practice! (just kidding honey!)

But now I have to go out and get them some 49er gear at some point. So relatives reading this, think Christmas if you get clothes or jackets for the boys!

A Full Day

Yesterday (Wednesday) marked the beginning of my "weekend". I started it off with Laundry Duties, after getting home from work.

Note to readers of my previous blog- I did in fact do it right each and every time instead of wasting to money by running the washer and dryer without clothes in them like I did the other day.

After awhile, the nice albeit VERY humid day summoned me outside. After making it about 3 steps outside our apartment door, the gates of hell opened up, and I began sweating very profusely. So, the first stop was down to the local C-store to get some ice cream and gatorade. Having nearly succumbed to a heat stroke some years back, I wasn't about to push myself without some extra cooling and hydrating agents in my body.

Then it was off to the basketball court. I performed pretty well, but the heat caused us to take a break, and then we decided to play some football (YAY!).
Keep in mind, I am playing with kids half my age who are in really good shape and constantly active. On one of the first plays, a guy from the other team nearly runs a kickoff all the way for a touchdown. What he did not count on was a 30 year old experienced player of the old Neighborhood Football League to show the young kid what real footbal was all about. I did not tackle him, I did not trip him. I merely reached in over his shoulder and came down hard on the football and gently eased it right out behind him and into my other hand. Now the hard part came. I had the entire length of the field and 3 other guys to beat. Like the days of old, I ran with everything I had...1st man gone, 2nd man gone, but the third had the angle on me. Suddenly, as if I was 15 myself, I turned on the afterburners, and my short little legs propelled me as though I was the roadrunner leaving Wile E. Coyote. The tall, athletic boy with much longer legs, a size advantage and the angle to take me out, suddenly found himself staring into the trees looking for his jockstrap. That burst of speed, left him dumbfounded and totally surprised that an old man like me would blow past him like a hurricane. Only one problem....I had stepped out of bounds at one point, with the loosely defined sidelines I might add. But, not an issue.



After having used up enough energy for 2 days, I went into the quarterbacking mode, and made a quick strike to one of my teammates for a one play score. We battled back and forth for awhile, but eventually the heat and humidity got to us, and we decided it was time to hit the gatorade bottles, and the ice in the makeshift cooler (an empty Corona cardboard box), which I promptly dumped on my head. We hung out for awhile just chatting and enjoying the freedom of a summer afternoon.

Then, around 5:45pm it was time for me to go home. I figured I had better shower, or my wife wouldn't want to be too close to me at any point, and we had a date that night. The kids were away with family, so we wanted to take the rare opportunity to spend some time together that was just us. We went out to a nice little steak house, and then off to a park because she wanted to swing for a few minutes. After that, we went downtown for a bit, walking around enjoying our own time together. A little time overlooking the Des Moines River from a pedestrian bridge, followed by a stop at Nollen Plaza, to just sit under a tree on a bench and watch the water fountains that shot into an amphitheater-shaped shallow pool, with a divided waterfall as the backdrop.

Capital Square in Des Moines



Then we set out to get back to our car and back home, as the dark night approached. On the way I was stopped by some sort of vagrant man. He hit my wife and I up with a barrage of compliments...I have seen this routine before, and knew the money asking was coming. However this guy had a different approach than most.

"Hey man, I aint gonna lie to you," he said. " I'm not out of gas, I don't need anything to eat, I just wanna go over here to the Plaza Pantry for a beer."

Well, I am a sucker for honesty. So my good deed for the day ended up being me reaching into my pocket, grabbing a wad of cash and handing over. Then we were off to home.

OH. I almost forgot to tell you. My wife is a cheater. Not in the marital sense, mind you, but she's still a cheater. For years, she has kept Christmas presents for me, away from this house. I have an uncanny ability to guess what is inside any given wrapped present. In fact, to date, my sister is the only one with enough genius in her to fool me...and she did it twice. Well, my wife got tired of this, and no longer leaves any possibility of evidence for me to go to my super-awesome sleuthy (is this a word, or have I been overcome by the spirit of W?) ways. Well, last night, over dinner, Dani was mentioning how funny she thinks I am. She made the mention of the phrase "let me count the ways", so being a naturally sarcastic fool, I made her. She mentioned my ability to mirror speech patterns of whomever I am around and talking with. I already knew this one.

But then she mentioned how I talk in my sleep. I am convinced that I do not, but then again, being asleep, how would I know? So I asked her if she ever got any juicy information out of me. She replied yes. Anything that could get me in trouble? She said no. However, it was at that point that she made the mistake of letting me know that is the way she used to fnd out what I was planning for our anniversary 2 years ago.

We had come out of a particularly rough patch in our relationship prior to our 7th anniversary(we're staring down the barrel at #9 on July 1), so I wanted to do some special stuff. All planned out, spa day for her, followed by a very fancy restuarant that night, and then just some other random activities about town. And somehow, despite my secrecy from a LOT of people, and those who did know were sworn not only to the death, but to the very attachment to them of a certain set of body parts they held dear. (If you don't think I'm serious let me tell you a great plan of mine, and then betray me....you will live to regret it!)

So two years later, while she is able to withhold things against my abilities, I am stuck at her mercy with my great ideas. This irritates me. Not so much that she has been able to do this, but that there really isn't a defense against this. She caught me in a situation where her tool is using one of the natural tools of my survival against me, sleep. What else irritates me, is that her deceitful ways are truly awesome, and I can't help but be impressed. THAT is really irritating.

Pro Football and Fan Disconnect

So, I'm a huge football fan. I've been watching it as far back as I can remember (no, not just three weeks ago). I started off my football days a San Francisco 49ers fan, probably because that was my dad's team (and most of his family for that matter, except his rogue sister Janet, who has relentless hung onto her Oakland teams), and remain so to this day. From the hayday of the 80s to the lower echelons of hell that my team likes to perform in now.

My view of football has changed in little ways over the years, but fundamentally the game remains my favorite overall. When I was young, for the most part your team remained the same, minus the retiring players, plus the incoming rookies. Free Agency was a newer concept. Now instead of playing for your team and your teammates, it seems that many play for the amount of dollar bills they can get. Sure, some want to, and will remain with their team regardless of other offers, and will retire from the game with the same team that drafted them, wihtout ever being traded off. I have even heard of some players voluntarily taking pay cuts to remain with their team, and/or to allow another player to come into the organization, all to satisfy this salary cap imposed on teams (which I have no problem with). But many these days will haggle over the difference of a couple million dollars over a couple years. Player A wants a contract that gives him $11million over 4 years. The Owner says "we'll give you $8million over 5 years." And somehow, this can be a bone of contention that causes the player to stay away from training camp, preseason practices and all that is involved.

Maybe I'm missing some bigger picture here, but it's $3million dollars difference. Personally, once I've hit the $5million dollar mark in life, I'd be pretty friggin happy for life. Yeah, I know what some of you are saying..."The contracts aren't guaranteed, if he gets hurt he loses out on the rest", or "$3million is a LOT of money."
And you'd be right on both counts. But while your career may be shorter, and you may take a lot of abuse over that time, any player that plays 5 years in general has made way more than your average person will in 40 years. I even understand that Player A saw that Player B for some other team, who isn't even as good as him, got a LOT more money, and he thinks he deserves as much. Whatever happened to the love of the game? I think the league minimum for a drafted rookie is in the $300,000+ range. Hell, I'd play an entire career on that salary if I were blessed with enough size and talent to play at such a level, but that's just me. I just like to play, compete and win. Because in the end, to me, winning is the whole point. Getting to gloat afterwards is of course part of the prize, which I am guilty of to many faults. (ask my wife, sister, pretty much anyone who has ever competed against me in anything)

These days, however, your team looks different, save a few key players, every single year. Your guy switches teams, now what do you do? Root for your favorite player or your favorite team?
And it comes from all sides, to be honest, when it comes to being a loyal fan to your team. The owners jack up ticket prices, vending prices, and everything else, making it harder to go see your team play, if your in or near one of the market cities. You have whiny millionaires who demand being traded, or made their bonuses and quit putting forth an absolute 100% effort every play of every game. And now, the next thing that has hit the big time, that puts fans themselves at fault:

FANTASY FOOTBALL!
You have people now who participate in these leagues (sometimes multiple simultaneously) religiously. I played last year, and it created some disconnect from following my team specifically. Yes, it gave me a sense of control when it comes to managing a team, but I found myself hoping this guy or that guy had a great game, even if they were playing against my team that week. I was no longer following my team, but rather a bunch of individual players that I had at my disposal. (on a personal note: out of 5 guys, I placed last...my guys underperformed when I had them starting, when I switched things up, they suddenly did well...good thing I didnt havemoney riding on it!)

SO this year, I decided to opt out of any fantasy league. Given the poor performance of my team over the last few years (more like 9 years), and the fact that they are on the west coast and I am located in the midwest, I don't see them on tv as much, so I have to follow the team through the box scores in the paper, or highlights on tv. But I have found myself following them a little better this year, despite all that, and the fact that with my current job, it intereferes with my sleep time on the weekends. GRRRRR.
I can only hope that they will again become a cohesive team that can rise out of the proverbial ashes and ascend to greatness once again. Then maybe they'll get more tv play, and then I can justify losing a little sleep to see them play.

Anyways, I'm all over the place with this post, so I'll continue with this directionless rant with a couple more things. Given the differences in the two levels, I have come to prefer the more pure sport of football at the college level over the money grubbers in the pros. A certain local state favorite in college play, the Iowa Hawkeyes, however are threatening to ruin that as well. The advent of the new BigTen Network which now shows there games, and has caused me to not see them on NETWORK TV has pissed me off as well. Why should I pay $40 or whatever it is to get cable, just to watch one channel during football season?

Football used to be a sport, but as with everything else, it is becoming more business than anything. And to me, that is the biggest ruination of the game. But, I shall forever remain a football fan, and shall continue to love my 49ers, even if they suck for the rest of eternity.

And So Goes My NFL Hopes

As usual (at least the last couple years) the preseason looked good for my beloved San Francisco 49ers. Great Offense, Decent Defense and Special Teams. And then, again as usual, Week 1 happened.
We kick preseason butt, and then when it's actually supposed to count, its as though the 49ers decide they have put forth enough effort for the season already.
Whatever your opinion of the Arizona Cardinals, my team seems to stink. I don't care if the Cardinals win every game this season and the SuperBowl (I think I just got sued for using a patented term, send money for my legal defense!), it doesn't negate the poor effort of my team.
We played against a good Bears team (who, btw whipped up on the Colts), first stringers even, with some substitutes, and won pretty handily. But then again, it didnt count.

The last time my 49ers made it to the Superbowl (crap...sued again!!), was the 1998 season. We still had remnants of the team created by the late, great Bill Walsh.
Now that arises more questions. Was Bill Walsh a pure genius when it came to drafting great players, like unknowns of Jerry Rice, decent college players like Joe Montana, and other unorthodox decisions that led to some of the greatest team-cohesion to survive in the early days of free-agency, when player loyalty started to shift from team to dollar bills? Or was he an ego-maniac hellbent on spending every future dime possible to assemble the great team for his own benefit of winning games and Super Bowls while he was still coaching?? Thereby sending future teams into an economic depression that kept them from spending those dolars on quality players, thusly grabbing himself a spot in the Hall of Fame as a dynastical coaching legend?
After all, His replacement Coach George Siefert was able to add a follow up trip to the Superbowl in his first year, with essentially the same team, and again in 1998 with still an almost identical team. And yet, many years, we have become a great farm team for defensive backs. They suck at San Fran, they get good, we can't pay them, they get traded to a different team where they excel. Hmmmmmm.
I'd like to go with option one, where Bill was a genius, and gave me a heyday in which to revel during my childhood fandom, but now that I think about it, maybe Bill really was an evil megalomaniac. Either way, the 49ers are still my favorite team, but they need to get their proverbial crap together. We have the tools, we just need to use them together better....Still not sure if I like the formerly successful (he moved around for more reasons than HIM wanting a change) Mike Martz making the play calling...