Monday, October 19, 2009

49er Mini-Sports Update

The new weekly (kind of) sports forum on the San Francisco 49ers, as determined by Mook continues yet again.

Well, hurrah, hurrah, THIS week, the 49ers did NOT lose. One big reason for this absence of a loss...they had a bye week, and you can't lose if you don't play. I got an update from the Official 49ers fan page over on the old Facebook side of things, which gives me the opportunity to ask a player anything. This week they are offering up a sacrificial lamb in the form of a defensive back. LAST week, against the Atlanta Falcons, the San Francisco defense gave up over 40 points. It was a truly pathetic effort. I have decided to refrain from asking this hapless defender just what the hell happened for one main reason: I already know how the question will get answered.

It will come in one of three different formats:
1. "We were simply outplayed by an outstanding offensive machine."
2. "We mentally lost focus after a few quick scores by the Falcons, and our offense wasn't able to bail us out this week."
...or my personal opinion, and favorite option...
3. "We didn't bother to show up for the game."

I can only imagine. The week before the 49ers demoralize a horrible St Louis Rams team with a 35-0 shutout. This isn't new for the Rams, but holding a team scoreless is something the 49ers haven't done in quite a long time. It's my assumption that despite this last week's game being played IN San Francisco, the players were unable to show up. They were still either partying or hungover from a weeklong celebration after defeating their division opponent, the Rams, in a shutout, giving them a clean sweep over division foes.

All week long, Coach Mike Singletary has been forced to use stunt doubles in practice, and eventually the game in an effort to not completely forfeit the game altogether. A call went out to specific athletes in area junior coleges, and to outstanding high school athletes, who at least could pull off resembling the 49ers actual players. Hey, fora small sum of cash under the table, and a free authentic NFL jersey, who wouldn't take up such an offer. I know I would, under total disillusionment that it would somehow lead to me being given a shot at making the actual roster. I do have mean skills when it comes to backyard football. Why wouldn't it translate over? I'll go across the middle and get killed by a real NFL linebacker, for nothing more than the official stats and to say I did it.

I surmise that the few 49ers scores against Atlanta came on pure fluke. The fake players made a few nice moves, showcasing the possibility of future talent to be used, along with the fact that the few key Falcon players who were to stop them fell over with laughter as they realized who was actually playing them.

So, after this weeks play, the Rams continue their abysmal season by losing again and going to 0-6. The Arizona Cardinals defeated the Seattle Seahawks easily, moving them even with the 49ers. Luckily so far, having beaten the Cardinals, the tie goes to the 49ers. However in December the 49ers will go against the Cards and Seahawks again, so we'll see how that goes as the season develops for each team.

And a personal note to Coach Singletary...I am still open to playing for even less than the league minimum, even if it means I'll be laid up in full body casts for months on end. I'm just saying...

in an unrelated note..a google ad on my page advertises to give Brett the finger. They're talking about Brett Favre, who I'd LOVE to give the finger. However it turns out its advertising fan regalia, like the foam fingers and things of that nature. And here I thought I would be allowed a chance to win a trip to go flip Brett the bird.

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