Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Pre-Florida Meeting

And so it was, I had the pleasure, upon landing in Florida, of meeting our fellow blogger, The Godfather, from theslowbleed.com

Being a Godfather, of course he met with my wife and I at the Italian version of Applebees, Tony Roma's. WE had a good conversation over a midafternoon meal, before my wife and I departed in our rental to go to St Augustine for my sister's wedding. The first thing I noticed about The Godfather, is that he didn't look like he does in his little comment picture on the blogs. In truth, for those who are curious, here is the "real" Godfather's picture:

As a responsible blogger who feels the need to expose the truth in less than newsworthy headlines, I felt it necessary to make sure you all knew exactly who the Godfather is, so you'll know him when you see him. You'll also need to take note about what he ordered. The Ribs!!!! And not only the ribs, but with a wink and a nod to the waitress. Being such a great investigative force, and having seen fictional and nonfictional mob accounts, I knew what his real meal was. Ribs!! Yes, and not just your normal restuarant prepared ribs, but judging by the size, I'd say he ate the ribs of his enemy's newborn child. He was clearly sending me a message. I was on his turf, and we didn't want me to mistake his friendliness for weakness. That if I crossed him, the next meal on his plate would be my kid's ribs. Interestingly enough, my wife also ordered the ribs. I can't help but think my wife ingested the ribs of the Godfather's nemesis, in some sort of way of making her an unknowing accomplice, thus buying our silence.

Of course, now having met this man, and exposing the truth behind him, I will be out on the lamb. For he will come for me, albeit too late, as he has been outed!


Godfather said...

According to recordings, here is what was actually said during the lunch in question…

Godfather: Why did you go to St. Augustine, FL? Why didn't you come to me first?
Mookie: What do you want of me? Tell me anything, but do what I beg you to do.
Godfather: What is that?
[Mookie gets up and whispers in the Don's ear]
Godfather: That I cannot do.
Mookie: I'll give you anything you ask.
Godfather: We've known each other for many months but this is the first time you've ever come to me for counsel or for help. I can't remember the last time you invited me to your house for a cup of coffee, even though you are a fellow blogger. But, let's be frank here. You never wanted my friendship and you were afraid to be in my debt.
Mookie: I didn't want to get into trouble.
Godfather: I understand. You found paradise in the northern part of America. You had a good readership, made a good living, the police protected you and there were search engines and you didn't need a friend like me. But, now you come to me and you say "Godfather, give me web traffic." But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my house and eat my ribs.
Mookie: I ask you for justice.
Godfather: That is not justice; your wife is also eating ribs.
Mookie: Let them suffer then. As she suffers. How much shall I pay you?
Godfather: Mookie. Mookie. What have I ever done to make you to treat me so disrespectfully? If you had come to me in friendship then your blog site would not be suffering this very day. And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies then they would become my enemies. And then, they would fear you.
Mookie: Be my friend... Godfather.
[kisses Godfather's ring]
Godfather: Good. Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me; an additional link to my blog perhaps. But, until that day, accept this justice as a gift.
Mookie: Grazie, Godfather.
Godfather: Bene.

Mookie said...

This shall be posted, so people really get a good chance to look at this!